Fool's Gold: Movie Review (2008)

Directed by Andy Tennant, written by Tennant, John Claflin and Daniel Zelman, 112 minutes, rated PG-13.

The best thing that can be said for the new Andy Tennant movie, "Fool's Gold," is that it lives up to its title. In fact, it surpasses it.

This dumb, vapid comedy, which clocks in at nearly two hours, feels as if it was directed, written and performed by a ship of fools--and, my, how that ship gurgles and burps when it sinks.

From Tennant, John Claflin and Daniel Zelman's script, "Fool's Gold" did have a few people at my screening giggling, but it's important to note that those giggles distinctly came from its target audience of female tweens and they only tittered when Matthew McConaughey--buff, golden, ripped beyond reason--took to the screen with his shirt off, which pretty much is for most of the movie.

What a fall from grace this actor has had. After a promising early career that included such films as "A Time to Kill," "Amistad," "Contact" and "Thirteen Conversations About One Thing," it's now not out of the question to believe that his next project will be a reality show called "Pimp My Abs." Apparently, baring his bod is what his career has become about, which will be enough for some, but which nevertheless is unfortunate considering he does have talent.

The same goes for his co-star Kate Hudson, who in eight years has yet to reclaim the promise she showcased as Penny Lane in "Almost Famous." Hudson's charm always has been the backbone of her success--it's the reason she's kept her career going this long--but for anyone who fell in love with her as Penny knows, she also can act, which is a vocation to which she seriously needs to return.

Anyway, about the movie. After teaming once before in 2003's "How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days," McConaughey and Hudson are back to prove they have zero chemistry as Finn and Tess, a married couple who are about to divorce as the film begins.

They still love each other, sure, and their sex life is hotter than crab cakes, but after years of trying to find a hidden treasure off a Bahamian reef, Tess has had it with Finn and is determined to go to graduate school in Chicago. Since he won't go with her, it's bye-bye to Finn, which says it all for the kind of people we're dealing with here.

But not so fast. Turns out Finn might be on the cusp of finding the sunken, 16th-century Spanish loot they've been seeking for so long. Will Tess help him find it?
Is that even a question?

Along with her employer, the billionaire Nigel Honeycutt (Donald Sutherland, pitiful), as well as the billionaire's air-head daughter, Gemma (Alexis Dziena), two token gay men, a boat captain (Ray Winstone) and an irritating dork (Ewen Bremner), Tess joins the fray to take on a gun-toting villain named Bigg Bunny (Kevin Hart)--yes, Bigg Bunny--who wants the treasure for himself.

Does Bigg Bunny haul in the big carats? Do Tess and Finn fall back into each other's arms? Is it even necessary to go on? I didn't think so.

Grade: D-