"Knowing"

DVD, Blu-ray Movie Review

Directed by Alex Proyas, written by Juliet Snowden and Stiles White, 122 minutes, rated PG-13.

By Christopher Smith

Alex Proyas' horror thriller, "Knowing," stars Nicolas Cage in one of his better commercial efforts, which is good news for Cage, since he needed a movie that was an improvement over the dreck he’s been shucking to audiences lately.

For too long, the man’s career has been one long wallow in the business end of a loaded toilet, where he swam amid such firebombs as "The Wicker Man," "Ghost Rider," "Next" "National Treasure: Book of Secrets" and the especially risible "Bangkok Dangerous.”

The key to Cage's success in this movie is Proyas, the visionary director behind such cult classics as "The Crow" and "Dark City,” as well as 2004's excellent "I, Robot." What he has done with Cage is to tone him down. The man is still as gaunt as ever (would somebody please throw him a Fat Burger?), but gone are the massive fright wigs he has favored as of late, not to mention his thirst for delivering such hilarious, over-reaching performances, they tend to lend themselves to drinking games.

Working from Juliet Snowden and Stiles White's script, "Knowing" is a B-movie movie charged with science fiction undertones. It's about the end of the world and how one young girl named Lucinda (Lara Robinson) saw it coming 50 years ago.

At the start of the movie, this grim girl with the dead eyes and the blank face taps into something otherworldly when she joins the rest of her class by drawing her idea of what the future will look like within 50 years. Instead of drawing happy little space ships, Lucinda goes all crazy in the classroom, scribbling down a rush of numbers on a piece of paper that gets tucked within the time capsule.

Cut to the present and to Cage’s John Koestler, a widower doing his best to raise his son Caleb (Chandler Canterbury) while also spending quality time with a whisky bottle. It’s when the time capsule is opened and Caleb comes in contact with Lucinda’s handiwork that their lives are turned sideways, with John, an astrophysicist at M.I.T., soon realizing that the numbers Lucinda wrote correlate with the dates and locations of worldwide disasters, such as 9-11.

The list states that the next day, 81 people will die, which indeed happens when a plane crashes near John in New York City. A few days later, a subways skips the tracks and smashes through crowds of people, killing the exact number Lucinda predicted. Each of these scenes are beautifully handled, so seamless in their special effects, they add a nice rush to the movie.

Deepening the film's creepy factor are the men in black who hover around Caleb like a clutch of crows. They're known as the "Whisperers" and they appear mostly at night, standing watch over Caleb in ways that suggest a malicious intent. Draw into this story a subplot that involves Lucinda's daughter, Diana (Rose Byrne) and her daughter, Abby (Robinson), who also can hear the Whisperers, and "Knowing" becomes a satisfying thriller that doesn't cheat its audience when it comes to its harrowing ending.

While there are elements here that don’t add up, such as the mysterious rocks that appear throughout, this is a B-movie, with all that implies, and it’s better than the bad rap it received when it first hit theaters.

Grade: B

Watch the trailer for "Knowing" here:

"Knowing"

DVD, Blu-ray Movie Review

Directed by Alex Proyas, written by Juliet Snowden and Stiles White, 122 minutes, rated PG-13.

By Christopher Smith

Alex Proyas' horror thriller, "Knowing," stars Nicolas Cage in one of his better commercial efforts, which is good news for Cage, since he needed a movie that was an improvement over the dreck he’s been shucking to audiences lately.

For too long, the man’s career has been one long wallow in the business end of a loaded toilet, where he swam amid such firebombs as "The Wicker Man," "Ghost Rider," "Next" "National Treasure: Book of Secrets" and the especially risible "Bangkok Dangerous.”

The key to Cage's success in this movie is Proyas, the visionary director behind such cult classics as "The Crow" and "Dark City,” as well as 2004's excellent "I, Robot." What he has done with Cage is to tone him down. The man is still as gaunt as ever (would somebody please throw him a Fat Burger?), but gone are the massive fright wigs he has favored as of late, not to mention his thirst for delivering such hilarious, over-reaching performances, they tend to lend themselves to drinking games.

Working from Juliet Snowden and Stiles White's script, "Knowing" is a B-movie movie charged with science fiction undertones. It's about the end of the world and how one young girl named Lucinda (Lara Robinson) saw it coming 50 years ago.

At the start of the movie, this grim girl with the dead eyes and the blank face taps into something otherworldly when she joins the rest of her class by drawing her idea of what the future will look like within 50 years. Instead of drawing happy little space ships, Lucinda goes all crazy in the classroom, scribbling down a rush of numbers on a piece of paper that gets tucked within the time capsule.

Cut to the present and to Cage’s John Koestler, a widower doing his best to raise his son Caleb (Chandler Canterbury) while also spending quality time with a whisky bottle. It’s when the time capsule is opened and Caleb comes in contact with Lucinda’s handiwork that their lives are turned sideways, with John, an astrophysicist at M.I.T., soon realizing that the numbers Lucinda wrote correlate with the dates and locations of worldwide disasters, such as 9-11.

The list states that the next day, 81 people will die, which indeed happens when a plane crashes near John in New York City. A few days later, a subways skips the tracks and smashes through crowds of people, killing the exact number Lucinda predicted. Each of these scenes are beautifully handled, so seamless in their special effects, they add a nice rush to the movie.

Deepening the film's creepy factor are the men in black who hover around Caleb like a clutch of crows. They're known as the "Whisperers" and they appear mostly at night, standing watch over Caleb in ways that suggest a malicious intent. Draw into this story a subplot that involves Lucinda's daughter, Diana (Rose Byrne) and her daughter, Abby (Robinson), who also can hear the Whisperers, and "Knowing" becomes a satisfying thriller that doesn't cheat its audience when it comes to its harrowing ending.

While there are elements here that don’t add up, such as the mysterious rocks that appear throughout, this is a B-movie, with all that implies, and it’s better than the bad rap it received when it first hit theaters.

Grade: B

Watch the trailer for "Knowing" here:

By Christopher Smith

With Halloween on Sunday, the weekend crush is on for horror movies. So, break out the Holy water, folks, and step away from the satanic hellfire, because over the past several weeks, more than 40 horror movies were revisited for this piece.

Because of time considerations, not all could be reviewed here, and some classics such as "The Exorcist", "The Night of the Living Dead" and "Dracula" were left off because everybody already know they’re great (and should be revisited if none of the below appeals). What follows is a broad sampling of other films--some familiar, some not so familiar, some way outside the fringe.

The horror genre is one that can be enjoyed on two primary levels--for the fear it elicits when it’s done well, or for the wild comedy it offers when it’s B-movie bad. With that in mind, the following are recommended:

"Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers"
Distilled camp. A horror movie with a Maine connection not associated with Stephen King. Northeast Harbor resident Gunnar “Leatherface” Hansen (the original “Texas Chainsaw Massacre”) is The Stranger, a cultish pimp who employs a bevy of topless hookers to help him sacrifice the unsuspecting. They use chainsaws--well, of course they do--and are backed by an advertising slug that notes they charge an arm and a leg for their services. Ho, ho.

"The Fly" (1986)
Kafka would have loved it. This fine remake of the 1958 original is a horror romance. It’s one of David Cronenberg’s best films, with Jeff Goldblum’s inventor-scientist Seth Brundle joining Geena Davis’ Ronnie in creating a heart-felt, B-movie gross-out. What the film creates in Seth’s unflattering transformation from human being to human-fly is as grotesque as anything in Romero’s “Land of the Dead,” yet none of it is served with a trace of intended humor. Cronenberg and company are dead serious about their cautionary ideas about the abuse of science and technology. As Seth deteriorates into a mess of ticks, mandibles and twitches, the movie comes down to the nuances of Goldblum’s spot-on performance and the horror of what some will do with a loaded rifle in the name of love.

"Frankenfish"
The dark side of “Hee-Haw.” Giant, prehistoric fish wreak havoc on hillbillies in a backwater bayou. Voodoo, decapitations and mutilations ensue. At times, the actors, covered in body parts and brain matter, can’t ignore the absurdity of the situations or contain their own amusement; they giggle through the gore. So will you.

"Halloween"
One of the best. Unlike Rob Zombie’s risible remakes, director John Carpenter got it right--a slasher film needs more than a butcher knife and a boogeyman to be effective. It needs a main character worth rooting for, a plot that facilitates a suspension of disbelief, a spellbinding score that complements the creeps. In “Halloween,” we get it all, with Jamie Lee Curtis fending off masked madman Michael Meyers. A lucrative series was born, none of which has matched this terrific original.

"High Tension"
Who knew that studying in the French countryside could be so hazardous to your health? In the slasher film "High Tension," college students Marie (Cecile De France) and Alex (Maiwenn--yes, just Maiwenn) flee the city to cram for their upcoming finals in the presumed quietude of Alex's country farmhouse. Trouble is, when they arrive, so does a homicidal maniac (Philippe Nahon) who brutally abducts Alex, but not before resourceful Marie slips into hiding with some rather sharp hardware at the ready. What ensues is director Alexandre Aja’s cinematic bloodbath. The movie is lean, mean and initially focused--it wants to repel you with gore and it might just succeed. The bizarre, fractured ending is a disappointment, so much so that some will wonder what Aja was smoking when he conceived it. Still, the ending shouldn’t negate what comes before it--a visceral thrill ride.

"Woodchipper Massacre"
So bad it hurts. So bad it’s good. So much for using only wood in a woodchipper. Three kids murder their rotten, mean-spirited aunt, chop her up, freeze her solid, and then put her assorted body parts through a woodchipper. Messy, horribly acted, but puckish fun. Inspired a similar scene in “Fargo.”

"Movie Dearest"
Okay, so not a horror movie, per se, but a great party film if seen with the right crowd. It’s scary, terrifying, allegedly true. Faye Dunaway’s performance as Joan Crawford is cut-throat. She wields an ax. She serves raw meat to children. She devastates a garden. She uses bathroom cleanser as a weapon. For good measure, she also provides a corpse—her own, waxen and blue in the film’s climactic scene.

"The Changeling"
Underrated. A fantastic haunted house movie without the gore or the cheap thrills. George C. Scott brings gravitas; director Peter Medak brings a tense mood. A séance spectacle with a lone, antique wheelchair fueled by a spirit determined to murder. A forgotten classic. An enduring favorite.

"Motel Hell"
A drive-in staple when there actually were drive-ins. The film features a motel owner with a cannibalistic penchant for turning his guests into smoked meats. Don’t eat the jerky. In the garden is a nasty, buried secret. Onscreen is something more unsettling--Wolfman Jack in cameo. Love the pig’s head.

"Psycho" (1960 version)
Janet Leigh in the shower, with a knife in her back, her torso, the palms of her hands. As in so many Hitchcock movies, an undercurrent of sleaze runs through the movie--it was startling for the times. Anthony Perkins is a timid bird slavishly beholden to his mother; he’s no caricature. His performance is a lark. Hitchcock exploited Leigh, sure, but he also made her a legend. Turns out she did well by that.

"The Twisted Terror Collection"
A rousing B-movie horror collection from Warner. Includes six films--John Carpenter's 1978 television stalker movie "Someone's Watching Me," with Lauren Hutton in the lead, and Oliver Stone's 1981 horror film "The Hand," in which Michael Caine loses a hand to an auto accident--and the hand just won't die! Also included are 1986's "Deadly Friend" from Wes Craven, which he'd likely sooner wish to forget; 1973's "From Beyond the Grave," with Peter Cushing as a shifty antiques dealer; and 1981's "Eyes of a Stranger," with Jennifer Jason Leigh protecting her deaf and blind sister from a serial rapist. Finally, there's 1992's "Dr. Giggles," which is about a mass murderer that stars nobody memorable, but which nevertheless features a title that gets to the heart of this holiday. Go and have a few laughs of your own.

"Undead"
The undead in this low-budget horror show are relentless. With verve, they keep hammering away at the screen, eating and clawing their way into someone else's oblivion--all thanks to a pesky little meteor shower in which aliens thumbed a ride to Earth. If the undead in this movie weren't so physically hideous, they’d be perfect for a reboot of "The Apprentice”--they’re that savage, that hungry, that obvious in their killer instincts. From the Australian brother team of Michael and Peter Spierig, the film's pace lags at the start, but cult horror fans will appreciate the over-the-top gore and the two former beauty queens stewing in the subplot. In one scene, a pair of freshly lopped legs continue to walk with spine intact, a nice touch that creates an amusing diversion. So does some of the dialogue, which is just this side of camp. “Undead” doesn’t have the budget to be slick, so it has to rely on flashes of imagination to see it through. It does, and parts of the movie are fun, though it never escapes the sense that it wouldn't exist without the efforts Sam Raimi, Peter Jackson, George Romero, Tobe Hooper and Steven Spielberg put forth before it.

"Whatever Happened to Baby Jane?"
Bette Davis as a former starlet turned raging, delusional drunk--her face is the horror, not to mention the sound her slippers make as they cake across the floor. Joan Crawford is sister Blanche, wheelchair bound and terrified by Jane’s jealousy. Mind games uncoil. Dead careers struggle to reignite. Meanwhle, dead birds and dead rats are served for dinner. Audiences are served a feast.

By Christopher Smith

With Halloween on Sunday, the weekend crush is on for horror movies. So, break out the Holy water, folks, and step away from the satanic hellfire, because over the past several weeks, more than 40 horror movies were revisited for this piece.

Because of time considerations, not all could be reviewed here, and some classics such as "The Exorcist", "The Night of the Living Dead" and "Dracula" were left off because everybody already know they’re great (and should be revisited if none of the below appeals). What follows is a broad sampling of other films--some familiar, some not so familiar, some way outside the fringe.

The horror genre is one that can be enjoyed on two primary levels--for the fear it elicits when it’s done well, or for the wild comedy it offers when it’s B-movie bad. With that in mind, the following are recommended:

"Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers"
Distilled camp. A horror movie with a Maine connection not associated with Stephen King. Northeast Harbor resident Gunnar “Leatherface” Hansen (the original “Texas Chainsaw Massacre”) is The Stranger, a cultish pimp who employs a bevy of topless hookers to help him sacrifice the unsuspecting. They use chainsaws--well, of course they do--and are backed by an advertising slug that notes they charge an arm and a leg for their services. Ho, ho.

"The Fly" (1986)
Kafka would have loved it. This fine remake of the 1958 original is a horror romance. It’s one of David Cronenberg’s best films, with Jeff Goldblum’s inventor-scientist Seth Brundle joining Geena Davis’ Ronnie in creating a heart-felt, B-movie gross-out. What the film creates in Seth’s unflattering transformation from human being to human-fly is as grotesque as anything in Romero’s “Land of the Dead,” yet none of it is served with a trace of intended humor. Cronenberg and company are dead serious about their cautionary ideas about the abuse of science and technology. As Seth deteriorates into a mess of ticks, mandibles and twitches, the movie comes down to the nuances of Goldblum’s spot-on performance and the horror of what some will do with a loaded rifle in the name of love.

"Frankenfish"
The dark side of “Hee-Haw.” Giant, prehistoric fish wreak havoc on hillbillies in a backwater bayou. Voodoo, decapitations and mutilations ensue. At times, the actors, covered in body parts and brain matter, can’t ignore the absurdity of the situations or contain their own amusement; they giggle through the gore. So will you.

"Halloween"
One of the best. Unlike Rob Zombie’s risible remakes, director John Carpenter got it right--a slasher film needs more than a butcher knife and a boogeyman to be effective. It needs a main character worth rooting for, a plot that facilitates a suspension of disbelief, a spellbinding score that complements the creeps. In “Halloween,” we get it all, with Jamie Lee Curtis fending off masked madman Michael Meyers. A lucrative series was born, none of which has matched this terrific original.

"High Tension"
Who knew that studying in the French countryside could be so hazardous to your health? In the slasher film "High Tension," college students Marie (Cecile De France) and Alex (Maiwenn--yes, just Maiwenn) flee the city to cram for their upcoming finals in the presumed quietude of Alex's country farmhouse. Trouble is, when they arrive, so does a homicidal maniac (Philippe Nahon) who brutally abducts Alex, but not before resourceful Marie slips into hiding with some rather sharp hardware at the ready. What ensues is director Alexandre Aja’s cinematic bloodbath. The movie is lean, mean and initially focused--it wants to repel you with gore and it might just succeed. The bizarre, fractured ending is a disappointment, so much so that some will wonder what Aja was smoking when he conceived it. Still, the ending shouldn’t negate what comes before it--a visceral thrill ride.

"Woodchipper Massacre"
So bad it hurts. So bad it’s good. So much for using only wood in a woodchipper. Three kids murder their rotten, mean-spirited aunt, chop her up, freeze her solid, and then put her assorted body parts through a woodchipper. Messy, horribly acted, but puckish fun. Inspired a similar scene in “Fargo.”

"Movie Dearest"
Okay, so not a horror movie, per se, but a great party film if seen with the right crowd. It’s scary, terrifying, allegedly true. Faye Dunaway’s performance as Joan Crawford is cut-throat. She wields an ax. She serves raw meat to children. She devastates a garden. She uses bathroom cleanser as a weapon. For good measure, she also provides a corpse—her own, waxen and blue in the film’s climactic scene.

"The Changeling"
Underrated. A fantastic haunted house movie without the gore or the cheap thrills. George C. Scott brings gravitas; director Peter Medak brings a tense mood. A séance spectacle with a lone, antique wheelchair fueled by a spirit determined to murder. A forgotten classic. An enduring favorite.

"Motel Hell"
A drive-in staple when there actually were drive-ins. The film features a motel owner with a cannibalistic penchant for turning his guests into smoked meats. Don’t eat the jerky. In the garden is a nasty, buried secret. Onscreen is something more unsettling--Wolfman Jack in cameo. Love the pig’s head.

"Psycho" (1960 version)
Janet Leigh in the shower, with a knife in her back, her torso, the palms of her hands. As in so many Hitchcock movies, an undercurrent of sleaze runs through the movie--it was startling for the times. Anthony Perkins is a timid bird slavishly beholden to his mother; he’s no caricature. His performance is a lark. Hitchcock exploited Leigh, sure, but he also made her a legend. Turns out she did well by that.

"The Twisted Terror Collection"
A rousing B-movie horror collection from Warner. Includes six films--John Carpenter's 1978 television stalker movie "Someone's Watching Me," with Lauren Hutton in the lead, and Oliver Stone's 1981 horror film "The Hand," in which Michael Caine loses a hand to an auto accident--and the hand just won't die! Also included are 1986's "Deadly Friend" from Wes Craven, which he'd likely sooner wish to forget; 1973's "From Beyond the Grave," with Peter Cushing as a shifty antiques dealer; and 1981's "Eyes of a Stranger," with Jennifer Jason Leigh protecting her deaf and blind sister from a serial rapist. Finally, there's 1992's "Dr. Giggles," which is about a mass murderer that stars nobody memorable, but which nevertheless features a title that gets to the heart of this holiday. Go and have a few laughs of your own.

"Undead"
The undead in this low-budget horror show are relentless. With verve, they keep hammering away at the screen, eating and clawing their way into someone else's oblivion--all thanks to a pesky little meteor shower in which aliens thumbed a ride to Earth. If the undead in this movie weren't so physically hideous, they’d be perfect for a reboot of "The Apprentice”--they’re that savage, that hungry, that obvious in their killer instincts. From the Australian brother team of Michael and Peter Spierig, the film's pace lags at the start, but cult horror fans will appreciate the over-the-top gore and the two former beauty queens stewing in the subplot. In one scene, a pair of freshly lopped legs continue to walk with spine intact, a nice touch that creates an amusing diversion. So does some of the dialogue, which is just this side of camp. “Undead” doesn’t have the budget to be slick, so it has to rely on flashes of imagination to see it through. It does, and parts of the movie are fun, though it never escapes the sense that it wouldn't exist without the efforts Sam Raimi, Peter Jackson, George Romero, Tobe Hooper and Steven Spielberg put forth before it.

"Whatever Happened to Baby Jane?"
Bette Davis as a former starlet turned raging, delusional drunk--her face is the horror, not to mention the sound her slippers make as they cake across the floor. Joan Crawford is sister Blanche, wheelchair bound and terrified by Jane’s jealousy. Mind games uncoil. Dead careers struggle to reignite. Meanwhle, dead birds and dead rats are served for dinner. Audiences are served a feast.

By Christopher Smith

Halloween is tomorrow, but the parties begin tonight. The below piece explores forgoing traditional horror movies and finding new ways to enjoy the big day--through B-movies. They can make for one ghastly good party.

Sometimes, horror isn't just a boogeyman wielding a knife, a psycho pretending to be his mother or a monster munching on a co-ed's throat, but something never intended to be scary, such as a botched performance gone awry, the fiery end of a career or a movie far worse than anyone could have imagined.

All can give you the willies.

So on Halloween, if you're in the mood for something completely different--a good fright that goes beyond the conventional horror movie--try thinking outside of the casket and looking deeper into Netflix or the DVD store. Indeed, sometimes what was never meant to be scary can be far scarier than what was designed to be scary.

Take Joan Crawford, for instance.

In 1967, Crawford, having hit rock bottom at age 63 but still eager to appear on screen, starred as a circus ringmistress in "Berserk," a stunning movie, in its own awful way, that dared to give Crawford a whip, an Edith Head leotard and a bouffant hairdo piled so high, it's amazing it never gets caught in the trapeze swinging above her.

As Monica Rivers--a grinning control freak unable to keep her monkeys or her donkeys in line--Crawford's great misfortune wasn't just donning that wig, but that she had to speak this sort of dialogue: "You little slut--you miserable ingrate. This is a circus, not a charm school! We've eaten caviar and we've eaten saw dust!"

Crawford has been eating those words for years.

In 1983, John Travolta, approaching what would prove to be a lengthy career slump, starred in "Staying Alive," the damp yet colorful sequel to "Saturday Night Fever."

The film found the actor stepping right in it, so to speak, by sporting wrestler hair and baring a well-oiled chest that somehow got more attention than his high-kicking character, Tony Manero, a former disco king who ditched his white leisure suit for a birthday suit--and a chance to appear in the Broadway musical, "Satan's Alley."

Directed by Sylvester Stallone with the sort of numbing one-two punch you'd expect from a man who's taken his share of blows to the head, the film's interpretation of Hell is its best selling point. It suggests that Satan is a softie, supporting a festive, musical environment in which leggings and eyeliner, wind machines and faux flames are not only encouraged but the order of the day.

Chilling stuff, for sure, but nothing compared to the worldwide fear Zsa Zsa Gabor ignited in 1958 when she co-starred in "Queen of Outer Space," the sci-fi disaster that cast Eva's sister as the only rational woman on the planet Venus. (So much for typecasting.) With Zsa Zsa unable--or unwilling--to conceal her Hungarian accent, the movie became sci-fi for the Eastern bloc, a ripe piece of trashovitch that suggested horror in its purest form.

A-list stars are hardly above spitting on their own graves and giving audiences nightmares, as Julia Roberts proved in 1996's "Mary Reilly," a movie that starred Roberts as plain old Mary Reilly, a grim maid whose glum life gets the kick it needs after she falls in love with John Malkovich's Dr. Jekyll, a monster hiding a dirty secret. The movie, bad enough to raise the hair on a dog, was initially billed by the studio as Roberts' bid for an Oscar nomination, which, had that happened, truly would have put the dog down.

Countless other movies redefine what it means to be scared, so if you find yourself at the video store on Halloween or cruising Netflix now, be creative when choosing which “scary” movie is best for you.

Rock stars turned actors are almost always a reliable source for raising the sort of gut wrenching scream that curls your toes, as Madonna showcased with spectacular results in 1993's "Body of Evidence"; Prince before her in 1986's "Under the Cherry Moon," which nobody has yet to figure out; and Vanilla Ice in "Cool as Ice," the 1991 debacle that soaked what was left of Mr. Ice's career in liquid nitrogen.

Former child stars out of touch with reality are often great fun during Halloween— they offer both tricks and treats. Their lost, unhappy childhoods—well-publicized by them--are a boon when it comes to curdling one's blood, especially if they should play characters hooked on booze and pills.

Patty Duke popped plenty and overdosed time and again in the unforgettable "Valley of the Dolls," one of the best unintentional horror films ever, particularly when Duke fell to her knees in a wet alley and demanded that someone--anyone--bring her another doll.

Elizabeth Taylor had quite a doll collection of her own in "Boom!," the 1968, Tennessee Williams-inspired shocker that starred the actress as Flora Goforth--yes, Flora Goforth—a woman whose rampant rages and mean mouth are far more toxic than anything in this week's new release, "Saw V."

In the right frame of mind, all of the above movies—and so many others, too many to list here—are scary as hell without ever meaning to be so. They’re also a lot of fun, proving that in a world where horror increasingly seems to be lurking just around the corner, the same is also true on Netflix or at your local DVD store.

By Christopher Smith

Halloween is tomorrow, but the parties begin tonight. The below piece explores forgoing traditional horror movies and finding new ways to enjoy the big day--through B-movies. They can make for one ghastly good party.

Sometimes, horror isn't just a boogeyman wielding a knife, a psycho pretending to be his mother or a monster munching on a co-ed's throat, but something never intended to be scary, such as a botched performance gone awry, the fiery end of a career or a movie far worse than anyone could have imagined.

All can give you the willies.

So on Halloween, if you're in the mood for something completely different--a good fright that goes beyond the conventional horror movie--try thinking outside of the casket and looking deeper into Netflix or the DVD store. Indeed, sometimes what was never meant to be scary can be far scarier than what was designed to be scary.

Take Joan Crawford, for instance.

In 1967, Crawford, having hit rock bottom at age 63 but still eager to appear on screen, starred as a circus ringmistress in "Berserk," a stunning movie, in its own awful way, that dared to give Crawford a whip, an Edith Head leotard and a bouffant hairdo piled so high, it's amazing it never gets caught in the trapeze swinging above her.

As Monica Rivers--a grinning control freak unable to keep her monkeys or her donkeys in line--Crawford's great misfortune wasn't just donning that wig, but that she had to speak this sort of dialogue: "You little slut--you miserable ingrate. This is a circus, not a charm school! We've eaten caviar and we've eaten saw dust!"

Crawford has been eating those words for years.

In 1983, John Travolta, approaching what would prove to be a lengthy career slump, starred in "Staying Alive," the damp yet colorful sequel to "Saturday Night Fever."

The film found the actor stepping right in it, so to speak, by sporting wrestler hair and baring a well-oiled chest that somehow got more attention than his high-kicking character, Tony Manero, a former disco king who ditched his white leisure suit for a birthday suit--and a chance to appear in the Broadway musical, "Satan's Alley."

Directed by Sylvester Stallone with the sort of numbing one-two punch you'd expect from a man who's taken his share of blows to the head, the film's interpretation of Hell is its best selling point. It suggests that Satan is a softie, supporting a festive, musical environment in which leggings and eyeliner, wind machines and faux flames are not only encouraged but the order of the day.

Chilling stuff, for sure, but nothing compared to the worldwide fear Zsa Zsa Gabor ignited in 1958 when she co-starred in "Queen of Outer Space," the sci-fi disaster that cast Eva's sister as the only rational woman on the planet Venus. (So much for typecasting.) With Zsa Zsa unable--or unwilling--to conceal her Hungarian accent, the movie became sci-fi for the Eastern bloc, a ripe piece of trashovitch that suggested horror in its purest form.

A-list stars are hardly above spitting on their own graves and giving audiences nightmares, as Julia Roberts proved in 1996's "Mary Reilly," a movie that starred Roberts as plain old Mary Reilly, a grim maid whose glum life gets the kick it needs after she falls in love with John Malkovich's Dr. Jekyll, a monster hiding a dirty secret. The movie, bad enough to raise the hair on a dog, was initially billed by the studio as Roberts' bid for an Oscar nomination, which, had that happened, truly would have put the dog down.

Countless other movies redefine what it means to be scared, so if you find yourself at the video store on Halloween or cruising Netflix now, be creative when choosing which “scary” movie is best for you.

Rock stars turned actors are almost always a reliable source for raising the sort of gut wrenching scream that curls your toes, as Madonna showcased with spectacular results in 1993's "Body of Evidence"; Prince before her in 1986's "Under the Cherry Moon," which nobody has yet to figure out; and Vanilla Ice in "Cool as Ice," the 1991 debacle that soaked what was left of Mr. Ice's career in liquid nitrogen.

Former child stars out of touch with reality are often great fun during Halloween— they offer both tricks and treats. Their lost, unhappy childhoods—well-publicized by them--are a boon when it comes to curdling one's blood, especially if they should play characters hooked on booze and pills.

Patty Duke popped plenty and overdosed time and again in the unforgettable "Valley of the Dolls," one of the best unintentional horror films ever, particularly when Duke fell to her knees in a wet alley and demanded that someone--anyone--bring her another doll.

Elizabeth Taylor had quite a doll collection of her own in "Boom!," the 1968, Tennessee Williams-inspired shocker that starred the actress as Flora Goforth--yes, Flora Goforth—a woman whose rampant rages and mean mouth are far more toxic than anything in this week's new release, "Saw V."

In the right frame of mind, all of the above movies—and so many others, too many to list here—are scary as hell without ever meaning to be so. They’re also a lot of fun, proving that in a world where horror increasingly seems to be lurking just around the corner, the same is also true on Netflix or at your local DVD store.

Movie Review

"Survival of the Dead"

Directed by George A. Romero, Written by Romero, 90 Minutes, Rated R

By our guest blogger, Rob Stammitti

"Survival of the Dead" is the sixth feature in George A. Romero's decades-spanning series surrounding an unexplained zombie apocalypse and the attempts to survive by the few who remain alive.

"Survival" is a loose follow-up to the most recent entry, "Diary of the Dead." In that film, the protagonists are captured and robbed by a group of renegade National Guard soldiers led by Seargent Crockett, who serves as the main character in this film.

Most of the action takes place on Plum Island, a small settlement off the coast of Delaware where two Irish families--the O'Flynns and the Muldoons--have been warring for years. When the dead begin turning into zombies, the conflict between the two patriarchs, Patrick O'Flynn and Seamus Muldoon, reaches its pinnacle, as the former believes all of the undead should be shot on sight, while the latter believes they should be kept alive in case a cure is developed or they can be taught to eat meat from animals instead of humans.

O'Flynn eventually finds himself ousted from the island, and after several weeks attempting to find his way back, Crockett and his group come upon him and together they all take a ferry back to the island to take it back from Muldoon.

This is pretty typical Romero stuff. Every one of his films is more about the evil of man in the midst of a zombie apocalypse as opposed to the zombie apocalypse itself, and he uses the situation to express his unique brand of social commentary.

Unique as it is, though, Romero's attempts at strong commentary are getting more tiresome by the movie. Every one of his films is more heavy-handed than the last, and this one is definitely no exception. Romero's message here is predominately about the futility of conflict. I don't know about you, but last time I checked, I didn't need a zombie movie to tell me fighting is silly. Another of Romero's points is a far more complex one, and it's actually more timely than ever--what truly defines life or death? The conflict between O'Flynn and Muldoon isn't much unlike the question of whether  someone braindead or in a coma is worth keeping alive.  Or, as indicated by one particularly interesting line from O'Flynn, "He shoots the living and keeps the dead alive."  Where do we draw the line? When is it OK to let go of those we've lost?

The overall plot and message would be great were it not for Romero's typically absurd take on the subject. I'm all for satire, but there's a difference between satire and showing a bunch of heads getting blown off or a horse geting eaten alive.

But I suppose that all comes with the territory. As always, Romero revels in the repulsiveness of his visuals, and he gets pretty inventive here with the kills. Before watching this film, I can honestly say I'd never seen someone killed by getting a flare shot in their chest, which subsequently sets their entire head on fire.

So, as always with Romero's work, it all depends on what you're willing to see. The man knows his gross-out gags, and his direction overall is as solid as ever. But you have to be willing to put up with social commentary that's about as subtle as a knife in your face and dialogue straight from a zero-grade B-movie. If that sounds like something for you, you're bound to get a heep of enjoyment out of this one.

Grade: C-

View a clip of the flare to the head here:



And view the trailer for "Survival of the Dead" below. What did you think of the movie?

Movie Review

"Survival of the Dead"

Directed by George A. Romero, Written by Romero, 90 Minutes, Rated R

By our guest blogger, Rob Stammitti

"Survival of the Dead" is the sixth feature in George A. Romero's decades-spanning series surrounding an unexplained zombie apocalypse and the attempts to survive by the few who remain alive.

"Survival" is a loose follow-up to the most recent entry, "Diary of the Dead." In that film, the protagonists are captured and robbed by a group of renegade National Guard soldiers led by Seargent Crockett, who serves as the main character in this film.

Most of the action takes place on Plum Island, a small settlement off the coast of Delaware where two Irish families--the O'Flynns and the Muldoons--have been warring for years. When the dead begin turning into zombies, the conflict between the two patriarchs, Patrick O'Flynn and Seamus Muldoon, reaches its pinnacle, as the former believes all of the undead should be shot on sight, while the latter believes they should be kept alive in case a cure is developed or they can be taught to eat meat from animals instead of humans.

O'Flynn eventually finds himself ousted from the island, and after several weeks attempting to find his way back, Crockett and his group come upon him and together they all take a ferry back to the island to take it back from Muldoon.

This is pretty typical Romero stuff. Every one of his films is more about the evil of man in the midst of a zombie apocalypse as opposed to the zombie apocalypse itself, and he uses the situation to express his unique brand of social commentary.

Unique as it is, though, Romero's attempts at strong commentary are getting more tiresome by the movie. Every one of his films is more heavy-handed than the last, and this one is definitely no exception. Romero's message here is predominately about the futility of conflict. I don't know about you, but last time I checked, I didn't need a zombie movie to tell me fighting is silly. Another of Romero's points is a far more complex one, and it's actually more timely than ever--what truly defines life or death? The conflict between O'Flynn and Muldoon isn't much unlike the question of whether  someone braindead or in a coma is worth keeping alive.  Or, as indicated by one particularly interesting line from O'Flynn, "He shoots the living and keeps the dead alive."  Where do we draw the line? When is it OK to let go of those we've lost?

The overall plot and message would be great were it not for Romero's typically absurd take on the subject. I'm all for satire, but there's a difference between satire and showing a bunch of heads getting blown off or a horse geting eaten alive.

But I suppose that all comes with the territory. As always, Romero revels in the repulsiveness of his visuals, and he gets pretty inventive here with the kills. Before watching this film, I can honestly say I'd never seen someone killed by getting a flare shot in their chest, which subsequently sets their entire head on fire.

So, as always with Romero's work, it all depends on what you're willing to see. The man knows his gross-out gags, and his direction overall is as solid as ever. But you have to be willing to put up with social commentary that's about as subtle as a knife in your face and dialogue straight from a zero-grade B-movie. If that sounds like something for you, you're bound to get a heep of enjoyment out of this one.

Grade: C-

View a clip of the flare to the head here:



And view the trailer for "Survival of the Dead" below. What did you think of the movie?

By our guest blogger, Gavin Stone.

The 10 Best Slasher Flicks

We love to be scared. Of course, that’s only when it is in a controlled environment where we still feel safe. There is no better controlled environment than a movie theater. For decades we have watched as slashers have graced the silver screen, and in honor of Halloween – my favorite holiday ever – I give you my 10 best slasher flicks. Yet you won’t find most of these on any major lists. These are the overlooked gems on the market that get lost under the major behemoths like Halloween and Friday the 13th.

#10 – "Dark Ride"
A crazy man lives in a shut-down amusement park dark ride that some teens sneak into. Guess what? Things go wrong and the kids become the ride scenery. I wonder how many tickets it was for that ride? Stupid carnivals and their stupid ticket systems. No wonder the poor kid went crazy and killed people and lived in the shut-down carnival. He has so many tickets he has to use! Why waste it all?






#9 – "From Hell"
Long before Freddy and Jason, there was Jack the Ripper. And this movie does an excellent job of treating him in an exciting light. Poor prostitutes. Too bad they didn’t have the kind of pimps we have today. Couldn’t you see the purple velvet flair brigade with their pimp hands ready for a beat down hunting Jack the Ripper? Word.






#8 – "Seven"
Someone is up to no good and killing people based off the seven deadly sins. Such a simple concept, but a great experience. Except of course for those people who were killed. I’m sure they are pretty pissed right about now. Especially the one in the box.







#7 – "Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon"
A film crew follows around an up-and-coming slasher as he prepares his big coming out event. It is a fun romp into the making of such grand events as Jason’s big Crystal Lake exploits and Freddy’s nightmare planning. But how in the hell did they find this guy? Oh wait, craigslist. Of course.







#6 – "Battle Royale"
Though not your traditional spooky slasher flick, Battle Royale is an emotionally frightening slasher movie. Instead of just one or two mad killers, there are over 40--all of them Japanese school students assigned a different weapon. Last one standing wins.




#5 – "Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street"
The classic tale of revenge and pies. Meat Pies. Now with more people in every bite! Barber returns from false imprisonment to a world turned upside down and vows vengeance. And what better way to hide the corpses than to make them into pies. God Bless Ye Old London.






#4 – "Last House on the Left"
This is one thoroughly disturbing horror movie. The original was worse than the remake, but the tone was the same. Criminals find, rape and kill two girls, then end up at one of their parents house for the night. What are the odds, huh? Not very intelligent killers if you ask me. Small town. Kill two kids. Statistics say you got a 1 in 3 chance of running into their parents. Small Town Math. Look it up.






#3 – "Hatchet"
What is it about Louisiana that draws out the creepies? In this movie, a bunch of tourists on a Haunted New Orleans boat tour get lost and come face to face with the local legend that they refuse to believe is real. Oh, he’s real all right--real enough to kill. I hope the tour offers refunds. Oh wait, everyone is dead. Score one for the tour company.






#2 – "Midnight Meat Train"
This is one of those movies that was recommended to me by a good friend. The premise – A reporter discovers that a subway train at a certain time each night becomes a train of death. The more he investigates, the darker it becomes until he finds himself smack in the middle of much more than he can handle. I thought it was a movie about a train made of meat driven by the Hamburger Helper Glove. Toot Toot, all aboard for dinner!





#1 – "Freaks"
Ever seen this old black-and-white movie? It is about a circus, and the story revolves around a band of freaks, but these are no actors, they are real freaks. At first, it doesn’t look like a slasher flick. But it ends up being one. I cannot watch the end of this movie without squirming. Once you see a man with no arms and no legs crawling under a carriage in a thunderstorm with a knife in his mouth and death in his eyes you will understand. One of us. One of us. Sure, if you just don’t kill me.

By our guest blogger, Gavin Stone.

The 10 Best Slasher Flicks

We love to be scared. Of course, that’s only when it is in a controlled environment where we still feel safe. There is no better controlled environment than a movie theater. For decades we have watched as slashers have graced the silver screen, and in honor of Halloween – my favorite holiday ever – I give you my 10 best slasher flicks. Yet you won’t find most of these on any major lists. These are the overlooked gems on the market that get lost under the major behemoths like Halloween and Friday the 13th.

#10 – "Dark Ride"
A crazy man lives in a shut-down amusement park dark ride that some teens sneak into. Guess what? Things go wrong and the kids become the ride scenery. I wonder how many tickets it was for that ride? Stupid carnivals and their stupid ticket systems. No wonder the poor kid went crazy and killed people and lived in the shut-down carnival. He has so many tickets he has to use! Why waste it all?






#9 – "From Hell"
Long before Freddy and Jason, there was Jack the Ripper. And this movie does an excellent job of treating him in an exciting light. Poor prostitutes. Too bad they didn’t have the kind of pimps we have today. Couldn’t you see the purple velvet flair brigade with their pimp hands ready for a beat down hunting Jack the Ripper? Word.






#8 – "Seven"
Someone is up to no good and killing people based off the seven deadly sins. Such a simple concept, but a great experience. Except of course for those people who were killed. I’m sure they are pretty pissed right about now. Especially the one in the box.







#7 – "Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon"
A film crew follows around an up-and-coming slasher as he prepares his big coming out event. It is a fun romp into the making of such grand events as Jason’s big Crystal Lake exploits and Freddy’s nightmare planning. But how in the hell did they find this guy? Oh wait, craigslist. Of course.







#6 – "Battle Royale"
Though not your traditional spooky slasher flick, Battle Royale is an emotionally frightening slasher movie. Instead of just one or two mad killers, there are over 40--all of them Japanese school students assigned a different weapon. Last one standing wins.




#5 – "Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street"
The classic tale of revenge and pies. Meat Pies. Now with more people in every bite! Barber returns from false imprisonment to a world turned upside down and vows vengeance. And what better way to hide the corpses than to make them into pies. God Bless Ye Old London.






#4 – "Last House on the Left"
This is one thoroughly disturbing horror movie. The original was worse than the remake, but the tone was the same. Criminals find, rape and kill two girls, then end up at one of their parents house for the night. What are the odds, huh? Not very intelligent killers if you ask me. Small town. Kill two kids. Statistics say you got a 1 in 3 chance of running into their parents. Small Town Math. Look it up.






#3 – "Hatchet"
What is it about Louisiana that draws out the creepies? In this movie, a bunch of tourists on a Haunted New Orleans boat tour get lost and come face to face with the local legend that they refuse to believe is real. Oh, he’s real all right--real enough to kill. I hope the tour offers refunds. Oh wait, everyone is dead. Score one for the tour company.






#2 – "Midnight Meat Train"
This is one of those movies that was recommended to me by a good friend. The premise – A reporter discovers that a subway train at a certain time each night becomes a train of death. The more he investigates, the darker it becomes until he finds himself smack in the middle of much more than he can handle. I thought it was a movie about a train made of meat driven by the Hamburger Helper Glove. Toot Toot, all aboard for dinner!





#1 – "Freaks"
Ever seen this old black-and-white movie? It is about a circus, and the story revolves around a band of freaks, but these are no actors, they are real freaks. At first, it doesn’t look like a slasher flick. But it ends up being one. I cannot watch the end of this movie without squirming. Once you see a man with no arms and no legs crawling under a carriage in a thunderstorm with a knife in his mouth and death in his eyes you will understand. One of us. One of us. Sure, if you just don’t kill me.

Halloween DVD/Blu-ray Corner

"Orphan" DVD, Blu-ray
For this special Halloween DVD Corner, let’s begin with what’s new to market--Juame Collet-Serra’s weak horror movie “Orphan”--and move right past it so as not to kill the mood. Instead, let’s just stick a fork in this baby so you can get on with what is recommended for tonight’s haunted viewing. At over two hours (!), “Orphan” follows John (Peter Sarsgaard) and Kate (Vera Famiga) plus their adopted devil child, Esther (Isabelle Fuhrman), who on paper hails from Russia, but really, it’s obvious that Esther popped out of the spoiled womb of a burning Satanic hellfire. She’s nice to your face (for awhile), but don’t cross her or she’ll cut you. Throughout, all sorts of predictably bad things happen, none of which will be revealed here, though it is safe to say that Esther puts a strain on John and Kate’s marriage. The movie recalls everything from “The Bad Seed” to “The Omen,” and that’s its undoing. This canned horror flick can’t hold a death rattle to them…and so just rent them instead. Rated R. Grade: C-

"Diary of the Dead" DVD, Blu-ray
From George A. Romero, a horror movie that follows Jason Creed (Joshua Close), who is shooting a low-budget horror film with his girlfriend, Debra (Michelle Morgan), a handful of their classmates and their drunk professor (Scott Wentworth) when the dead suddenly appear and start to attack. It’s into their Winnebago the humans go, where they keep tabs via television and the Internet on how quickly the world’s inhabitants are falling prey to, well, the world’s inhabitants. Naturally, a virus is to be blamed, one that has brought about “the death of death.” The rest of the movie is just what you expect--Jason and his posse on the run, some of whom get devoured while others kill the undead with a well-paced bullet to the head. If you know Romero, you know how these movies go down, but what’s nice to see is that the director hasn’t lost his nimble touch with the unexpectedly funny throwaway line, of which there are several here. Rated R. Grade: B

"Let the Right One In" DVD, Blu-ray
Unlike popular vampire chillers like “Twilight,” here is a quiet, more intense vampire thriller from Sweden that features a similar storyline, though one that goes deeper and darker than the slighter “Twilight” ever could imagine. It’s the story of a pale, bullied 12-year-old boy named Oskar (Kare Hedebrant), and how his budding relationship with a pale, 12-year-old girl named Eli (Lina Leandersson), who is a vampire, leads each to a dangerous precipice that must not be crossed. Unlike moody Bella from “Twilight,” Oskar has substance. He comes to love Eli, but in spite of suffering a cruel life that also includes divorced parents (just as it does with Bella), he doesn’t want to end it. From the start, there is a wariness between he and Eli that draws you into the movie, which is set in the snowy frosts of winter (Hoyte Van Hoytema’s stark cinematography is among the movie’s chief pleasures). Each child is lonely. Each needs a friend. And so, as they grow closer, she becomes his protector, feasting gruesomely when she must (the poor thing never remembers to wipe her bloody mouth), but remaining as true to Oskar as he is to her. The movie is violent--sometimes wickedly so--but those moments are few. The director understands the power of subtlety. He knows precisely the right moment to shock, but more important, he does so in ways that you’ve never seen on a movie screen. Rated R. Grade: A-

"My Bloody Valentine 3D" DVD, Blu-ray
A remake of the 1981 original, with the gimmick being that it was shot in 3-D. The story itself is a mixed-bag at best, but you have to give it up for the technology, which uses the 3-D platform to such a successful extent, it takes a mediocre horror movie and turns it into a reasonably fun, camp contender. Without diverting much from the original, director Patrick Lussier takes us back to Harmony (the irony!), a mining town in which a massacre happened 10 years earlier on Valentine’s Day. Then, 22 people were murdered. Now, it’s all happening again, with a host of suspects offered up as to who might be the pickaxe-wielding maniac behind the gas mask. Whoever it is (and audiences will figure it out in spite of the film’s trick ending), the good news is that Lussier manages to offer a genuine genre throwback. All of the staples are here. The movie sports over-the-top gore, go-go girls on the nudie run, flashes of tension, and a key ingredient for any slasher film--appealingly bad acting. Rated R. Grade: B-

"The Orphanage" DVD, Blu-ray
This foreign-language creepy is set in a large manor house that once was an orphanage for a host of poisoned tots. It’s expertly conceived, a ghost story that unfolds with unusual reservoirs of grace and menace--there isn’t a cheap jolt to be found. Instead, Bayona offers a slow build up of dread through the powerful vehicle of paranormal suggestion. For almost the entire movie, we never really know what’s going on inside the orphanage in question (or what occurred there years ago to make it haunted now), and that’s where the film’s suspense is allowed to mount--in the realm of the unknown. What ensues is everything you could hope for from a good ghost story--moody cinematography, mysterious figures appearing, dead children lurking, psychics tapping into a world nobody wants to face, and a complex puzzle of unearthed secrets that eventually lead to one massive plot twist. Rated R. Grade: A-

"The Others" DVD, Blu-ray
Nicole Kidman is Grace, a gorgeous young aristocrat reminiscent of Grace Kelly who’s living alone with her two children in a sprawling Victorian mansion on the British Isle of Jersey. It’s 1945, Grace’s husband hasn’t returned from World War II and is feared dead, and her children, Anne (Alakina Mann) and Nicholas (James Bentley), are suffering from a disease that makes them fatally susceptible to light. Fastidious and grim, her lean body sewn into haute couture, Grace keeps the mansion in almost total darkness--she protects her children by locking them away in one of the mansion’s 50 shadowy rooms. It’s a wonderful set-up for the macabre, and we’ll leave it at that. Recalling Henry James’ “The Turn of the Screw,” Peter Medak’s “The Changeling” and M. Night Shyamalan’s “The Sixth Sense,” “The Others” is an old fashioned ghost story that understands the conventions of the genre and uses them well. It’s utter lack of special effects is its greatest strength--but there is one caveat. When it counts most, the film’s ability to surprise will depend on its audience’s level of sophistication. Rated PG-13.Grade: B+

"The Strangers" DVD, Blu-ray
It stumbles in its rushed ending, but what’s admirable about this horror movie is how it remains committed to delivering mounting tension throughout. Writer-director Bryan Bertono uses time-worn horror movie cliches to fuel the action and he uses them successfully, achieving a heightened sense of dread. The film follows James (Scott Speedman) and Kristen (Liv Tyler), an attractive couple at a remote location whose relationship is on the outs and then suddenly thrown into turmoil when a knock comes at the door. It’s 4 a.m., and it turns out to be a young woman who calls herself Tamara. When James and Kristen inform her that nobody is there by that name, let’s just say that all hell breaks loose once the door is shut in her face. What unfolds is lean, tight and disturbing. Mirror the better horror movies of the1970s, it’s all about atmosphere and stripping away the clutter to get down to business with low-budget chills. And it comes through. Rated R. Grade: B

Halloween DVD/Blu-ray Corner

"Orphan" DVD, Blu-ray
For this special Halloween DVD Corner, let’s begin with what’s new to market--Juame Collet-Serra’s weak horror movie “Orphan”--and move right past it so as not to kill the mood. Instead, let’s just stick a fork in this baby so you can get on with what is recommended for tonight’s haunted viewing. At over two hours (!), “Orphan” follows John (Peter Sarsgaard) and Kate (Vera Famiga) plus their adopted devil child, Esther (Isabelle Fuhrman), who on paper hails from Russia, but really, it’s obvious that Esther popped out of the spoiled womb of a burning Satanic hellfire. She’s nice to your face (for awhile), but don’t cross her or she’ll cut you. Throughout, all sorts of predictably bad things happen, none of which will be revealed here, though it is safe to say that Esther puts a strain on John and Kate’s marriage. The movie recalls everything from “The Bad Seed” to “The Omen,” and that’s its undoing. This canned horror flick can’t hold a death rattle to them…and so just rent them instead. Rated R. Grade: C-

"Diary of the Dead" DVD, Blu-ray
From George A. Romero, a horror movie that follows Jason Creed (Joshua Close), who is shooting a low-budget horror film with his girlfriend, Debra (Michelle Morgan), a handful of their classmates and their drunk professor (Scott Wentworth) when the dead suddenly appear and start to attack. It’s into their Winnebago the humans go, where they keep tabs via television and the Internet on how quickly the world’s inhabitants are falling prey to, well, the world’s inhabitants. Naturally, a virus is to be blamed, one that has brought about “the death of death.” The rest of the movie is just what you expect--Jason and his posse on the run, some of whom get devoured while others kill the undead with a well-paced bullet to the head. If you know Romero, you know how these movies go down, but what’s nice to see is that the director hasn’t lost his nimble touch with the unexpectedly funny throwaway line, of which there are several here. Rated R. Grade: B

"Let the Right One In" DVD, Blu-ray
Unlike popular vampire chillers like “Twilight,” here is a quiet, more intense vampire thriller from Sweden that features a similar storyline, though one that goes deeper and darker than the slighter “Twilight” ever could imagine. It’s the story of a pale, bullied 12-year-old boy named Oskar (Kare Hedebrant), and how his budding relationship with a pale, 12-year-old girl named Eli (Lina Leandersson), who is a vampire, leads each to a dangerous precipice that must not be crossed. Unlike moody Bella from “Twilight,” Oskar has substance. He comes to love Eli, but in spite of suffering a cruel life that also includes divorced parents (just as it does with Bella), he doesn’t want to end it. From the start, there is a wariness between he and Eli that draws you into the movie, which is set in the snowy frosts of winter (Hoyte Van Hoytema’s stark cinematography is among the movie’s chief pleasures). Each child is lonely. Each needs a friend. And so, as they grow closer, she becomes his protector, feasting gruesomely when she must (the poor thing never remembers to wipe her bloody mouth), but remaining as true to Oskar as he is to her. The movie is violent--sometimes wickedly so--but those moments are few. The director understands the power of subtlety. He knows precisely the right moment to shock, but more important, he does so in ways that you’ve never seen on a movie screen. Rated R. Grade: A-

"My Bloody Valentine 3D" DVD, Blu-ray
A remake of the 1981 original, with the gimmick being that it was shot in 3-D. The story itself is a mixed-bag at best, but you have to give it up for the technology, which uses the 3-D platform to such a successful extent, it takes a mediocre horror movie and turns it into a reasonably fun, camp contender. Without diverting much from the original, director Patrick Lussier takes us back to Harmony (the irony!), a mining town in which a massacre happened 10 years earlier on Valentine’s Day. Then, 22 people were murdered. Now, it’s all happening again, with a host of suspects offered up as to who might be the pickaxe-wielding maniac behind the gas mask. Whoever it is (and audiences will figure it out in spite of the film’s trick ending), the good news is that Lussier manages to offer a genuine genre throwback. All of the staples are here. The movie sports over-the-top gore, go-go girls on the nudie run, flashes of tension, and a key ingredient for any slasher film--appealingly bad acting. Rated R. Grade: B-

"The Orphanage" DVD, Blu-ray
This foreign-language creepy is set in a large manor house that once was an orphanage for a host of poisoned tots. It’s expertly conceived, a ghost story that unfolds with unusual reservoirs of grace and menace--there isn’t a cheap jolt to be found. Instead, Bayona offers a slow build up of dread through the powerful vehicle of paranormal suggestion. For almost the entire movie, we never really know what’s going on inside the orphanage in question (or what occurred there years ago to make it haunted now), and that’s where the film’s suspense is allowed to mount--in the realm of the unknown. What ensues is everything you could hope for from a good ghost story--moody cinematography, mysterious figures appearing, dead children lurking, psychics tapping into a world nobody wants to face, and a complex puzzle of unearthed secrets that eventually lead to one massive plot twist. Rated R. Grade: A-

"The Others" DVD, Blu-ray
Nicole Kidman is Grace, a gorgeous young aristocrat reminiscent of Grace Kelly who’s living alone with her two children in a sprawling Victorian mansion on the British Isle of Jersey. It’s 1945, Grace’s husband hasn’t returned from World War II and is feared dead, and her children, Anne (Alakina Mann) and Nicholas (James Bentley), are suffering from a disease that makes them fatally susceptible to light. Fastidious and grim, her lean body sewn into haute couture, Grace keeps the mansion in almost total darkness--she protects her children by locking them away in one of the mansion’s 50 shadowy rooms. It’s a wonderful set-up for the macabre, and we’ll leave it at that. Recalling Henry James’ “The Turn of the Screw,” Peter Medak’s “The Changeling” and M. Night Shyamalan’s “The Sixth Sense,” “The Others” is an old fashioned ghost story that understands the conventions of the genre and uses them well. It’s utter lack of special effects is its greatest strength--but there is one caveat. When it counts most, the film’s ability to surprise will depend on its audience’s level of sophistication. Rated PG-13.Grade: B+

"The Strangers" DVD, Blu-ray
It stumbles in its rushed ending, but what’s admirable about this horror movie is how it remains committed to delivering mounting tension throughout. Writer-director Bryan Bertono uses time-worn horror movie cliches to fuel the action and he uses them successfully, achieving a heightened sense of dread. The film follows James (Scott Speedman) and Kristen (Liv Tyler), an attractive couple at a remote location whose relationship is on the outs and then suddenly thrown into turmoil when a knock comes at the door. It’s 4 a.m., and it turns out to be a young woman who calls herself Tamara. When James and Kristen inform her that nobody is there by that name, let’s just say that all hell breaks loose once the door is shut in her face. What unfolds is lean, tight and disturbing. Mirror the better horror movies of the1970s, it’s all about atmosphere and stripping away the clutter to get down to business with low-budget chills. And it comes through. Rated R. Grade: B

By our guest blogger, Jeremy Wilkinson

Top 10 Movie Vampires

Vampires have been a part of cinema since its inception. The vampire changes with the times…going from the Gothic, supernatural creature found in the '30s to the punkish, violent monster that arose in the '80s. Every now and then, something comes along to reinvent the immortal vampire. We live in an age where the vampire has been relegated to “boyfriend," as seen in the "Twilight" movies, among others. Quite frankly, the vampire that is popular these days has lost its bite and, instead, it sparkles. That’s not really the fairest trade in the world. This list looks over 10 of the most iconic, vicious and terrifying vampires to ever grace the silver screen.



#10 – Marlowe – "30 Days of Night"

With all the contemplative and heroic vampires around, sometimes we forget just how nasty the undead can be. Then you see a movie like 30 Days of Night and you’re reminded what they’re capable of. Danny Huston plays Marlowe, the leader of a group of vampires that decide to attack Barrow, Alaska during a month of darkness. Like the other vampires in the movie, Marlowe is menacing and animal-like--his only real goal is to feed and to keep his existence secret. Above all, he is a hunter. He speaks in a simple, guttural language to communicate with his fellow vampires. Marlowe (and the other vampires in the movie) can be seen as a return to the type of vampire that arose in the '80s with movies like Near Dark and Lost Boys.

#9 – Blade – "Blade"

Though he’s only a half-vampire, that’s enough to get him on the list. Blade is the first of only two “good” vampires on the list. The great thing about Blade is that even though he’s on our side, he has no problem hurting people to nullify the vampire threat. Sure, he’s a “good guy,” but he isn’t above punching out some snotty human trying to help the vampires. Wesley Snipes plays the character with icy cool, dusting vampires without losing his sunglasses.

#8 – D – "Vampire Hunter D"

D is an import from Japan and the only animated vampire on this list. D is technically a half-vampire, but he takes the number seven spot because he brings a new spin to the table. He is the classic wandering swordsman, dishing out death to the nasty creatures that go bump in the night and he has an interesting partn--his left hand. Left Hand is something like a parasite, aiding D in his endeavors, even saving him from certain doom. The character as a whole is a classic archetype with a new spin.

#7 – David – "Lost Boys"

Like Lestat before him, David (and his gang of vampires) created a new vampire type. David is a brash, punk vampi--a vampire for the modern age. He can fly, he has super-strength, but he cannot create mist or anything like that. Kiefer Sutherland plays the role well. He’s kind of like that guy who would ride up to a bar on a motorcycle, steal someone’s girlfriend, and then take off into the night…and yet he’s a vampire.

#6 – Santanico Pandemonium – "From Dusk Till Dawn"

The female vampire is usually more overtly sexual than her male counterparts. She is a seductress, luring men into her arms before plunging her fangs into their necks. Santanico Pandemonium (Salma Hayek), still plays the part of seductress. But once the blood begins to flow, she turns into a demonic creature more terrifying than most other vampires in cinema. Salma gives the character a commanding presence and a malign edge.

#5 – Severen – "Near Dark"

The vampires in Near Dark are some of the most brutal vampires out there, but the psychopathic Severen (played by Bill Paxton) stands out as tyrant even among them. Severen walks with a swagger, relishing the fear he instills and the violence he creates. The audience gets to see just how evil he is during a scene where the vampires enter and bar and, well…you’ll have to watch to see how that goes down.

#4 – Blacula – "Blacula"

Released in 1972, Blacula was meant to be a blaxploitation movie…and in many ways it lives up to that intent. But William Marshall (playing the eponymous vampire) does not allow his character to just be a stereotype. Blacula was more of a victim, damned by his progenitor to become one of the undead. He still kills and feeds, but Marshall plays the character with a dignity and nobility that would not have been there if the role had gone to a lesser actor. Thanks to Marshall, the character transcends the genre.

#3 – Lestat – "Interview with the Vampire"

When Anne Rice first published Interview with the Vampire, she ushered in a new archetype. This new breed of vampire was not susceptible to religious iconography, could not turn into a bat, and was not necessarily evil. Though Louis was the protagonist of the first book and movie adaptation, it was Lestat who caught the imagination of vampire fans. Tom Cruise did a wonderful job as Lestat in the feature film. The character unapologetically embraces the vampire lifestyle, feeding on humans like it’s nothing (standing in stark contrast to Louis’ hesitance to indulge his hunger). Lestat was one of the first vampires to eschew the more supernatural abilities of the vampire and has a surprising amount of depth that is discovered as the film unfolds.

#2 – Graf Orlok - "Nosferatu, eine Symphonie des Grauens"

Most cinematic vampires are alluring and sexy creatures, but Graf Orlok is not like most cinematic vampires. Count Orlok is one of the closest representations of the folkoric vampire on the screen. He is a hideous monster, spreading disease wherever he goes. Orlok is more a monster then anything else and his physical traits make him instantly recognizable. Max Schreck plays Orlok, moving with stilted motions that create an eeriness that is not easily replicated.

#1 – "Dracula" – Various Films

He may have not been the first vampire to grace the silver screen, but he is one of the most remembered and is certainly used most often in cinema. Dracula’s popularity is partly due to the novel on which it was based. But, while Bram Stoker's novel is great, it is the actors that portrayed Dracula that have aided in the Count’s longevity in the film world. Bela Lugosi defined the Dracula archetype in the 1931 adaptation of the novel and others have attempted (mostly in vain) to match Lugosi’s mastery of the character. Christopher Lee helped re-define the character, bringing even more predatory menace to the table. Dracula is everything a Gothic vampire should be--suave, seductive, vicious--and he never stays dead for too long. It is unlikely that Dracula will be knocked from the position of best-known vampire.

By our guest blogger, Jeremy Wilkinson

Top 10 Movie Vampires

Vampires have been a part of cinema since its inception. The vampire changes with the times…going from the Gothic, supernatural creature found in the '30s to the punkish, violent monster that arose in the '80s. Every now and then, something comes along to reinvent the immortal vampire. We live in an age where the vampire has been relegated to “boyfriend," as seen in the "Twilight" movies, among others. Quite frankly, the vampire that is popular these days has lost its bite and, instead, it sparkles. That’s not really the fairest trade in the world. This list looks over 10 of the most iconic, vicious and terrifying vampires to ever grace the silver screen.



#10 – Marlowe – "30 Days of Night"

With all the contemplative and heroic vampires around, sometimes we forget just how nasty the undead can be. Then you see a movie like 30 Days of Night and you’re reminded what they’re capable of. Danny Huston plays Marlowe, the leader of a group of vampires that decide to attack Barrow, Alaska during a month of darkness. Like the other vampires in the movie, Marlowe is menacing and animal-like--his only real goal is to feed and to keep his existence secret. Above all, he is a hunter. He speaks in a simple, guttural language to communicate with his fellow vampires. Marlowe (and the other vampires in the movie) can be seen as a return to the type of vampire that arose in the '80s with movies like Near Dark and Lost Boys.

#9 – Blade – "Blade"

Though he’s only a half-vampire, that’s enough to get him on the list. Blade is the first of only two “good” vampires on the list. The great thing about Blade is that even though he’s on our side, he has no problem hurting people to nullify the vampire threat. Sure, he’s a “good guy,” but he isn’t above punching out some snotty human trying to help the vampires. Wesley Snipes plays the character with icy cool, dusting vampires without losing his sunglasses.

#8 – D – "Vampire Hunter D"

D is an import from Japan and the only animated vampire on this list. D is technically a half-vampire, but he takes the number seven spot because he brings a new spin to the table. He is the classic wandering swordsman, dishing out death to the nasty creatures that go bump in the night and he has an interesting partn--his left hand. Left Hand is something like a parasite, aiding D in his endeavors, even saving him from certain doom. The character as a whole is a classic archetype with a new spin.

#7 – David – "Lost Boys"

Like Lestat before him, David (and his gang of vampires) created a new vampire type. David is a brash, punk vampi--a vampire for the modern age. He can fly, he has super-strength, but he cannot create mist or anything like that. Kiefer Sutherland plays the role well. He’s kind of like that guy who would ride up to a bar on a motorcycle, steal someone’s girlfriend, and then take off into the night…and yet he’s a vampire.

#6 – Santanico Pandemonium – "From Dusk Till Dawn"

The female vampire is usually more overtly sexual than her male counterparts. She is a seductress, luring men into her arms before plunging her fangs into their necks. Santanico Pandemonium (Salma Hayek), still plays the part of seductress. But once the blood begins to flow, she turns into a demonic creature more terrifying than most other vampires in cinema. Salma gives the character a commanding presence and a malign edge.

#5 – Severen – "Near Dark"

The vampires in Near Dark are some of the most brutal vampires out there, but the psychopathic Severen (played by Bill Paxton) stands out as tyrant even among them. Severen walks with a swagger, relishing the fear he instills and the violence he creates. The audience gets to see just how evil he is during a scene where the vampires enter and bar and, well…you’ll have to watch to see how that goes down.

#4 – Blacula – "Blacula"

Released in 1972, Blacula was meant to be a blaxploitation movie…and in many ways it lives up to that intent. But William Marshall (playing the eponymous vampire) does not allow his character to just be a stereotype. Blacula was more of a victim, damned by his progenitor to become one of the undead. He still kills and feeds, but Marshall plays the character with a dignity and nobility that would not have been there if the role had gone to a lesser actor. Thanks to Marshall, the character transcends the genre.

#3 – Lestat – "Interview with the Vampire"

When Anne Rice first published Interview with the Vampire, she ushered in a new archetype. This new breed of vampire was not susceptible to religious iconography, could not turn into a bat, and was not necessarily evil. Though Louis was the protagonist of the first book and movie adaptation, it was Lestat who caught the imagination of vampire fans. Tom Cruise did a wonderful job as Lestat in the feature film. The character unapologetically embraces the vampire lifestyle, feeding on humans like it’s nothing (standing in stark contrast to Louis’ hesitance to indulge his hunger). Lestat was one of the first vampires to eschew the more supernatural abilities of the vampire and has a surprising amount of depth that is discovered as the film unfolds.

#2 – Graf Orlok - "Nosferatu, eine Symphonie des Grauens"

Most cinematic vampires are alluring and sexy creatures, but Graf Orlok is not like most cinematic vampires. Count Orlok is one of the closest representations of the folkoric vampire on the screen. He is a hideous monster, spreading disease wherever he goes. Orlok is more a monster then anything else and his physical traits make him instantly recognizable. Max Schreck plays Orlok, moving with stilted motions that create an eeriness that is not easily replicated.

#1 – "Dracula" – Various Films

He may have not been the first vampire to grace the silver screen, but he is one of the most remembered and is certainly used most often in cinema. Dracula’s popularity is partly due to the novel on which it was based. But, while Bram Stoker's novel is great, it is the actors that portrayed Dracula that have aided in the Count’s longevity in the film world. Bela Lugosi defined the Dracula archetype in the 1931 adaptation of the novel and others have attempted (mostly in vain) to match Lugosi’s mastery of the character. Christopher Lee helped re-define the character, bringing even more predatory menace to the table. Dracula is everything a Gothic vampire should be--suave, seductive, vicious--and he never stays dead for too long. It is unlikely that Dracula will be knocked from the position of best-known vampire.

Movie, DVD, Blu-ray Review

Written and directed by Frank Darabont, based on Stephen King's novella, 127 minutes, rated R.

(Originally published 2007)

Two of the year's best horror movies have come from works by Stephen King, who knows a few things about the genre that Hollywood seems to have forgotten since losing itself to the entrails provided by directors Darren Lynn Bousman and Eli Roth.

The year's first King adaptation was Mikael Hafstrom's "1408," a horror film that eschewed today's penchant for torture porn and got back to the basics by employing some effective old standbys--shrieking ghosts, scratchy sounds emerging from behind bleeding walls, a sense of claustrophobia that nibbled away at the screen like one of the rats in "Ratatouille."

After the onslaught of Bousman's "Saw" and Roth's "Hostel" movies, "1408" proved a necessary throwback, a movie focused on building character, atmosphere and chills rather than on being merely a gory gross-out.

Frank Darabont's "The Mist," which Darabont ("The Shawshank Redemption," "The Green Mile") adapted from King's 1980 novella, follows suit. It's a movie about how a mysterious mist takes rise on the horizon after a storm slams into a coastal Maine town, leaving its residents rushing to repair the destruction left in its wake.

To the supermarket the Maine locals and "those from away" go, including Thomas Jane's David Drayton and his young son, Billy (Nathan Gamble), who offer to give their bitter New York neighbor, Brent Norton (Andre Braugher), a lift.

At the supermarket, a melting pot of the town's townspeople brews, only to be whipped into a froth when the mist crashes into the store, shaking it, and then when a man with blood on his face runs screaming from the mist claiming that something is in it and that they need to shut the doors behind him now.

Has the man gone mad or is there indeed something in the mist? To the film's credit, it allows us sufficient time to be freaked out by not knowing before it unleashes all of the monsters hissing therein.

Of course, nothing in the mist is as terrifying--or as heroic--as what we ourselves can become when pressed by fear. That's the film's point and that's what it reveals so well.

While several characters remain as rational as possible in spite of the odds stacked against them, others waver on the sidelines while another character--Marcia Gay Harden's Bible-thumping Mrs. Carmody--at last finds herself a pulpit and an audience upon which she can unleash her religious rhetoric.

As things grow from bad to worse, so does she, bellowing to the heavens that the end of days is upon them. Only a human sacrifice will placate her god and Drayton's boy, as far as she is concerned, will do just fine.

Beyond Jane and Harden, who do fine work here (especially Harden, who is excellent), the movie offers solid supporting turns from Toby Jones and Laurie Holden, several surprises tucked within the so-so special effects and genre cliches, and an ending that's so good, it proves that even in today's mass-market movies, sometimes Hollywood has the guts to turn a blind eye to the box office, focus on what best serves the story--and just get it right.

Grade: B+

Movie, DVD, Blu-ray Review

Written and directed by Frank Darabont, based on Stephen King's novella, 127 minutes, rated R.

(Originally published 2007)

Two of the year's best horror movies have come from works by Stephen King, who knows a few things about the genre that Hollywood seems to have forgotten since losing itself to the entrails provided by directors Darren Lynn Bousman and Eli Roth.

The year's first King adaptation was Mikael Hafstrom's "1408," a horror film that eschewed today's penchant for torture porn and got back to the basics by employing some effective old standbys--shrieking ghosts, scratchy sounds emerging from behind bleeding walls, a sense of claustrophobia that nibbled away at the screen like one of the rats in "Ratatouille."

After the onslaught of Bousman's "Saw" and Roth's "Hostel" movies, "1408" proved a necessary throwback, a movie focused on building character, atmosphere and chills rather than on being merely a gory gross-out.

Frank Darabont's "The Mist," which Darabont ("The Shawshank Redemption," "The Green Mile") adapted from King's 1980 novella, follows suit. It's a movie about how a mysterious mist takes rise on the horizon after a storm slams into a coastal Maine town, leaving its residents rushing to repair the destruction left in its wake.

To the supermarket the Maine locals and "those from away" go, including Thomas Jane's David Drayton and his young son, Billy (Nathan Gamble), who offer to give their bitter New York neighbor, Brent Norton (Andre Braugher), a lift.

At the supermarket, a melting pot of the town's townspeople brews, only to be whipped into a froth when the mist crashes into the store, shaking it, and then when a man with blood on his face runs screaming from the mist claiming that something is in it and that they need to shut the doors behind him now.

Has the man gone mad or is there indeed something in the mist? To the film's credit, it allows us sufficient time to be freaked out by not knowing before it unleashes all of the monsters hissing therein.

Of course, nothing in the mist is as terrifying--or as heroic--as what we ourselves can become when pressed by fear. That's the film's point and that's what it reveals so well.

While several characters remain as rational as possible in spite of the odds stacked against them, others waver on the sidelines while another character--Marcia Gay Harden's Bible-thumping Mrs. Carmody--at last finds herself a pulpit and an audience upon which she can unleash her religious rhetoric.

As things grow from bad to worse, so does she, bellowing to the heavens that the end of days is upon them. Only a human sacrifice will placate her god and Drayton's boy, as far as she is concerned, will do just fine.

Beyond Jane and Harden, who do fine work here (especially Harden, who is excellent), the movie offers solid supporting turns from Toby Jones and Laurie Holden, several surprises tucked within the so-so special effects and genre cliches, and an ending that's so good, it proves that even in today's mass-market movies, sometimes Hollywood has the guts to turn a blind eye to the box office, focus on what best serves the story--and just get it right.

Grade: B+

Movie, DVD, Blu-ray review

(Originally published 2004)

The spectacle "Van Helsing" is loosely based on Bram Stoker’s famed, stake-wielding character from his 1897 novel, "Dracula." It’s not for the faint of heart, though it is perfectly suited for the hard of hearing.

The decibel level on this CGI powerhouse from Stephen Sommers ("The Mummy," "The Mummy Returns") is jacked so high, there’s the sense that the filmmakers wanted everyone to join in the fun—those in the theater next to you, those in the next state, and perhaps even Stoker himself, who has been dead for nearly 100 years, but who has no doubt heard every word of this movie from his London grave.

The film, which Sommers based on his own script, follows last year’s "The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen" in that it gathers together several well-known monsters and villains from the past, and allows them to go at each other’s undead throats for the better half of two hours.

The difference between the films? As chaotic and as overblown as "Van Helsing" is, it never wants for energy, it doesn’t take itself seriously, and as a whole, it’s rather fun--elements the overbearing "Gentlemen" lacked.

The movie stars Hugh Jackman as Van Helsing, who has had something of an extreme makeover since Anthony Hopkins played him in 1992’s "Dracula." Indeed, the only thing sagging on this Van Helsing is the brim of his hat. Otherwise, he’s buff and young, a swarthy tough who finds himself multi-tasking for the Vatican.

Van Helsing has been charged to kill Count Dracula, who is played by Richard Roxburgh in the sort of buckles-and-brocade attire favored by Michael Jackson during his "Bad" period. Drac’s drag is unsettling, yes, but what’s more unsettling is that in order to kill the count, Van Helsing will first need to go through Frankenstein’s Monster (Shuler Hensley), who turns out to be an intellectual softy, and the Wolf Man (Will Kemp), whose bite apparently holds the key to killing Dracula. Who knew?

Tossed into the mix is Kate Beckinsale’s Anna Valerious, who sounds like an invasive species of plant and who behaves like one.

She’s a hot piece of work, sporting Lara Croft’s body and double her attitude, and she undulates onscreen in ways that would make the folks at a red light district blush. Her tart, rolling Romanian accent gives the film the necessary jolt of camp it needs, but then so do the three shrieking, winged vamps (Josie Maran, Elena Anaya, Silvia Colloca) who take to the skies to do Dracula’s dirty work.

In a blood-thirsty, dead-three-centuries sort of way, they’re perfectly charming if a bit high strung and unmannered, which proves fitting for this $150 million blockbuster that embraces the same qualities.

Grade: B

View the trailer here:

Movie, DVD, Blu-ray review

(Originally published 2004)

The spectacle "Van Helsing" is loosely based on Bram Stoker’s famed, stake-wielding character from his 1897 novel, "Dracula." It’s not for the faint of heart, though it is perfectly suited for the hard of hearing.

The decibel level on this CGI powerhouse from Stephen Sommers ("The Mummy," "The Mummy Returns") is jacked so high, there’s the sense that the filmmakers wanted everyone to join in the fun—those in the theater next to you, those in the next state, and perhaps even Stoker himself, who has been dead for nearly 100 years, but who has no doubt heard every word of this movie from his London grave.

The film, which Sommers based on his own script, follows last year’s "The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen" in that it gathers together several well-known monsters and villains from the past, and allows them to go at each other’s undead throats for the better half of two hours.

The difference between the films? As chaotic and as overblown as "Van Helsing" is, it never wants for energy, it doesn’t take itself seriously, and as a whole, it’s rather fun--elements the overbearing "Gentlemen" lacked.

The movie stars Hugh Jackman as Van Helsing, who has had something of an extreme makeover since Anthony Hopkins played him in 1992’s "Dracula." Indeed, the only thing sagging on this Van Helsing is the brim of his hat. Otherwise, he’s buff and young, a swarthy tough who finds himself multi-tasking for the Vatican.

Van Helsing has been charged to kill Count Dracula, who is played by Richard Roxburgh in the sort of buckles-and-brocade attire favored by Michael Jackson during his "Bad" period. Drac’s drag is unsettling, yes, but what’s more unsettling is that in order to kill the count, Van Helsing will first need to go through Frankenstein’s Monster (Shuler Hensley), who turns out to be an intellectual softy, and the Wolf Man (Will Kemp), whose bite apparently holds the key to killing Dracula. Who knew?

Tossed into the mix is Kate Beckinsale’s Anna Valerious, who sounds like an invasive species of plant and who behaves like one.

She’s a hot piece of work, sporting Lara Croft’s body and double her attitude, and she undulates onscreen in ways that would make the folks at a red light district blush. Her tart, rolling Romanian accent gives the film the necessary jolt of camp it needs, but then so do the three shrieking, winged vamps (Josie Maran, Elena Anaya, Silvia Colloca) who take to the skies to do Dracula’s dirty work.

In a blood-thirsty, dead-three-centuries sort of way, they’re perfectly charming if a bit high strung and unmannered, which proves fitting for this $150 million blockbuster that embraces the same qualities.

Grade: B

View the trailer here:

Editor's Note: Halloween is nearly upon us. So, over the next 8 days--or, as we'll call them here, "Week in Rewind's 8 Days of Horror"--we'll offer up reviews of some great horror movies you might want to consider for the big day.

First up was Let the Right One In? Second up? The Others.

Written and directed by Alejandro Amenabar, 104 minutes, rated PG-13.

Alejandro Amenabar’s The Others stars Nicole Kidman as Grace, a gorgeous young aristocrat reminiscent of Grace Kelly who’s living alone with her two children in a sprawling Victorian mansion on the British Isle of Jersey.

The year is 1945, Grace’s husband (Christopher Eccleston) hasn’t returned from World War II and is feared dead, and her children, Anne (Alakina Mann) and Nicholas (James Bentley), are suffering from a disease that makes them fatally susceptible to light.

Fastidious and grim, her lean body sewn tightly into haute couture, Grace keeps the mansion in almost total darkness, shutting out the daylight by blocking the windows with heavy curtains, and protecting her children by locking them away in one of the mansion’s 50 shadowy rooms. It’s a wonderful set-up for the macabre, but one whose success demands that little more be revealed here.

Recalling Henry James’ The Turn of the Screw, Peter Medak’s The Changeling and M. Night Shyamalan’s The Sixth Sense, “The Others” is an old fashioned ghost story that understands the conventions of the genre and uses them well. It doesn’t rely on cheap thrills to generate tension and fear--its utter lack of special effects is one of its greatest strengths--but its ability to surprise will depend on the level of its audience’s sophistication.

Indeed, there will be those who will delight in Amenabar’s ending, and others who will see it coming long before the final reel. One of the marks of a great horror film is its ability to keep everyone guessing. As good as “The Others” is, it falls short of that.

Grade: B+

Editor's Note: Halloween is nearly upon us. So, over the next 8 days--or, as we'll call them here, "Week in Rewind's 8 Days of Horror"--we'll offer up reviews of some great horror movies you might want to consider for the big day.

First up was Let the Right One In? Second up? The Others.

Written and directed by Alejandro Amenabar, 104 minutes, rated PG-13.

Alejandro Amenabar’s The Others stars Nicole Kidman as Grace, a gorgeous young aristocrat reminiscent of Grace Kelly who’s living alone with her two children in a sprawling Victorian mansion on the British Isle of Jersey.

The year is 1945, Grace’s husband (Christopher Eccleston) hasn’t returned from World War II and is feared dead, and her children, Anne (Alakina Mann) and Nicholas (James Bentley), are suffering from a disease that makes them fatally susceptible to light.

Fastidious and grim, her lean body sewn tightly into haute couture, Grace keeps the mansion in almost total darkness, shutting out the daylight by blocking the windows with heavy curtains, and protecting her children by locking them away in one of the mansion’s 50 shadowy rooms. It’s a wonderful set-up for the macabre, but one whose success demands that little more be revealed here.

Recalling Henry James’ The Turn of the Screw, Peter Medak’s The Changeling and M. Night Shyamalan’s The Sixth Sense, “The Others” is an old fashioned ghost story that understands the conventions of the genre and uses them well. It doesn’t rely on cheap thrills to generate tension and fear--its utter lack of special effects is one of its greatest strengths--but its ability to surprise will depend on the level of its audience’s sophistication.

Indeed, there will be those who will delight in Amenabar’s ending, and others who will see it coming long before the final reel. One of the marks of a great horror film is its ability to keep everyone guessing. As good as “The Others” is, it falls short of that.

Grade: B+

Editor's Note: Halloween is nearly upon us. So, over the next 8 days--or, as we'll call them here, "Week in Rewind's 8 Days of Horror"--we'll offer up reviews of some great horror movies you might want to consider for the big day. First up? The terrific movie, "Let the Right One In."


Week in Rewind's 8 Days of Horror
“Let the Right One In”

Directed by Tomas Alfredson, written by John Ajvide Linkqvist, 116 minutes, rated R. In Swedish with English subtitles.

This Halloween, people will turn to vampire movies to satisfy their thrills, with many flocking to Catherine Hardwicke's "Twilight." That's a shame, particularly since it isn't really a horror movie.

"Let the Right One In," however, is a horror movie--and a brilliant one at that. What's curious is that the comparisons between Hardwicke’s “Twilight” and Tom Alfredson’s “Let the Right One In” come so swiftly and easily, it would be an oversight not to compare them for a specific reason--one movie courts an American sensibility driven by box-office greed, the other a foreign sensibility driven by artistry and the quest to tell a story well.

Guess which is the better movie?

Obviously, the weak link is “Twilight,” an overheated potboiler about the potentially undeadly physical attraction that ignites between two hot-and-bothered teens, one a male vampire fresh from an Abercrombie & Fitch ad, the other a pouty mortal female trying to stuff down one mother of a hormonal rampage.

At its core, “Twilight” uses its vampire angle to promote abstinence, an interesting twist for tweens that’s unfortunately suffocated by too much action-movie clutter, purple romantic pining and blue dialogue. In other words, the movie is filled with the very rainbow of qualities that make for the blockbuster “Twilight” became. Abstinence never will sell a movie, but kisses, randy teens and explosions do, so that’s what audiences got upon the movie’s release.

“Let the Right One In,” on the other hand, is a quiet, more intense vampire thriller from Sweden that features a similar storyline, though one which goes deeper and darker than “Twilight” ever could imagine. It’s the story of a pale, bullied 12-year-old boy named Oskar (Kare Hedebrant), and how his budding relationship with a pale, 12-year-old girl named Eli (Lina Leandersson), who is a vampire, leads each to a dangerous precipice that must not be crossed.

Unlike Bella from “Twilight,” who would happily die for her stud vamp if it meant spending an eternity marveling at his fright wig and killer cheekbones, Oskar has more substance. He comes to love Eli, but in spite of suffering a cruel life that also includes divorced parents (just as it does with Bella), he doesn’t want to end it.

From the start, there is a wariness between them that draws you into the movie, which is set in the snowy chills of winter (Hoyte Van Hoytema’s stark cinematography is one of the movie’s chief pleasures). Each child is lonely. Each needs a friend. Given that Oskar is on the cusp of adolescence--and all that entails--his conflicted feelings for Eli are charged with a sexual undercurrent he doesn’t fully understand.

But she does. Eli might exist within a 12-year-old’s body, but she’s been 12 for some time. And so, as they grow closer, she becomes his protector, feasting gruesomely when she must (the poor thing never remembers to wipe her bloody mouth), but remaining as true to Oskar as he is to her.

Unlike “Twilight,” suspense and spareness are the motivators here, not violence. That isn’t to suggest that the movie isn’t violent--it is, sometimes wickedly so--but those moments are few. Alfredson understands the power of subtlety. He knows precisely the right moment to shock, but more important, he does so in ways that you’ve never seen on a movie screen. That he does so in a genre nearly as old as the movies themselves lifts “Let the Right One In” into the coveted realm of one of the year’s more memorable films.

Grade: A-

View the R-rated trailer:

Editor's Note: Halloween is nearly upon us. So, over the next 8 days--or, as we'll call them here, "Week in Rewind's 8 Days of Horror"--we'll offer up reviews of some great horror movies you might want to consider for the big day. First up? The terrific movie, "Let the Right One In."


Week in Rewind's 8 Days of Horror
“Let the Right One In”

Directed by Tomas Alfredson, written by John Ajvide Linkqvist, 116 minutes, rated R. In Swedish with English subtitles.

This Halloween, people will turn to vampire movies to satisfy their thrills, with many flocking to Catherine Hardwicke's "Twilight." That's a shame, particularly since it isn't really a horror movie.

"Let the Right One In," however, is a horror movie--and a brilliant one at that. What's curious is that the comparisons between Hardwicke’s “Twilight” and Tom Alfredson’s “Let the Right One In” come so swiftly and easily, it would be an oversight not to compare them for a specific reason--one movie courts an American sensibility driven by box-office greed, the other a foreign sensibility driven by artistry and the quest to tell a story well.

Guess which is the better movie?

Obviously, the weak link is “Twilight,” an overheated potboiler about the potentially undeadly physical attraction that ignites between two hot-and-bothered teens, one a male vampire fresh from an Abercrombie & Fitch ad, the other a pouty mortal female trying to stuff down one mother of a hormonal rampage.

At its core, “Twilight” uses its vampire angle to promote abstinence, an interesting twist for tweens that’s unfortunately suffocated by too much action-movie clutter, purple romantic pining and blue dialogue. In other words, the movie is filled with the very rainbow of qualities that make for the blockbuster “Twilight” became. Abstinence never will sell a movie, but kisses, randy teens and explosions do, so that’s what audiences got upon the movie’s release.

“Let the Right One In,” on the other hand, is a quiet, more intense vampire thriller from Sweden that features a similar storyline, though one which goes deeper and darker than “Twilight” ever could imagine. It’s the story of a pale, bullied 12-year-old boy named Oskar (Kare Hedebrant), and how his budding relationship with a pale, 12-year-old girl named Eli (Lina Leandersson), who is a vampire, leads each to a dangerous precipice that must not be crossed.

Unlike Bella from “Twilight,” who would happily die for her stud vamp if it meant spending an eternity marveling at his fright wig and killer cheekbones, Oskar has more substance. He comes to love Eli, but in spite of suffering a cruel life that also includes divorced parents (just as it does with Bella), he doesn’t want to end it.

From the start, there is a wariness between them that draws you into the movie, which is set in the snowy chills of winter (Hoyte Van Hoytema’s stark cinematography is one of the movie’s chief pleasures). Each child is lonely. Each needs a friend. Given that Oskar is on the cusp of adolescence--and all that entails--his conflicted feelings for Eli are charged with a sexual undercurrent he doesn’t fully understand.

But she does. Eli might exist within a 12-year-old’s body, but she’s been 12 for some time. And so, as they grow closer, she becomes his protector, feasting gruesomely when she must (the poor thing never remembers to wipe her bloody mouth), but remaining as true to Oskar as he is to her.

Unlike “Twilight,” suspense and spareness are the motivators here, not violence. That isn’t to suggest that the movie isn’t violent--it is, sometimes wickedly so--but those moments are few. Alfredson understands the power of subtlety. He knows precisely the right moment to shock, but more important, he does so in ways that you’ve never seen on a movie screen. That he does so in a genre nearly as old as the movies themselves lifts “Let the Right One In” into the coveted realm of one of the year’s more memorable films.

Grade: A-

View the R-rated trailer: