The Family Stone: Movie & DVD Review (2007)

(Originally published 2005)

Go ahead--throw the first stone. Throw it right at the screen. Take aim, wind up, and let the rocks rip.

"The Family Stone" deserves it. In this unrelentingly fake, cloying new dramedy, not one character is likable, particularly Sarah Jessica Parker's Meredith, who is so rigid and controlling, so self-involved and self-centered, that she bullies the screen with a cloud of pinched gloom that sinks an already shaky production.

Her Meredith is a shrew of the first order, a main character for whom it's impossible to root. The rest of the cast doesn't help, which is a surprise since many of the actors, including Diane Keaton, Claire Danes and Rachel McAdams, are top-notch.

Thing is, in the hands of writer-director Thomas Bezucha, all of them are undone by the story, which involves Parker's Meredith joining her boyfriend, Everett (Dermot Mulroney), for the holidays with his rampantly dysfunctional family.

What Meredith finds in their upper-class New England abode is that the Stones in question exist to exclude, which they do with a joyless meanstreak that's isolating.

Without most ever having seen her, they decide on the spot that they don't like her, they certainly don't want her to marry Everett ("She's wrong for him! Waahh!"), and so they make her pay for his affection and his invitation to their home with cruel, cutting asides meant to sting her, which they do. Trouble is, Meredith is such a miserable, unlikable sot, you don't care if she's stung. In fact, you want her to be stung until she's immune. And how's that for your cup of holiday good cheer?

As the story unfolds, bitterness is an undercurrent that shakes the movie off course, breeding contempt while romantic quadrangles fester along the fringes and the familial infighting gives way to an unfortunate revelation that's meant to bring everyone together. You know, as only one tired cinematic device can.

Incredibly, this movie is being put up for awards consideration, but why? Is 20th Century Fox blind to what they have on their hands with these Stones, this Meredith, their movie? Are we meant to be moved by the obvious machinations? The cheap twists meant to wring our hearts?

Please.

When Meredith screams to her sister early in the film that "they all hate me!," you want to answer back, "Cookie, what's your point? You make Saddam look like a honey pot--and so do they. Really, all of you monsters should be perfect for each other."

But they're not perfect, and neither is this film.

Grade: D