The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie: Movie & DVD Review (2004)

(Originally published 2004)

The best, funniest scenes in the new “SpongeBob SquarePants Movie” have nothing to do with SpongeBob himself. Instead, what generates the biggest laughs are the live-action pirates who ingeniously start and close the show, and a brave cameo by a hirsute David Hasselhoff that has to be seen to be believed.

These scenes are outrageous and spontaneous in ways that the rest of the movie should have been, but isn’t.

SpongeBob himself does have his moments of goofy glory here, but the movie ultimately doesn’t live up to its advertising campaign. It’s not bigger, better and more absorbent than the Nickelodeon television show on which it’s based. Au contraire. Too much of it is disappointingly damp.

As directed by Stephen Hillenburg from a script he co-wrote with Derek Drymon, Tim Hill, Ken Osborne, Aaron Springer and Paul Tibbett, the film wisely retains the bright, colorful look of the television show, but it fails to sustain the giddy tone that has made SpongeBob such a favorite among children and some adults.

This is a kids movie, so at my screening, it was telling to note that the dozens of tots who entered the theater abuzz with excitement gradually lost their interest in the movie as the story unfolded. Some felt more fun could be had roaming the aisles, while others fell asleep in their seats—never a good sign for a movie.

The film focuses on SpongeBob’s adventures in Bikini Bottom, which sounds dirtier than it is. There, SpongeBob’s boss, Mr. Krabs (Clancy Brown), has failed to promote our hero to manager for Krabs’ new Krusty Krab 2 restaurant. With the job going to the adult Squidward, a hurt and angry SpongeBob (Tom Kenny) sets out to prove with his best friend, Patrick (Bill Fagerbakke), that kids are just as capable as adults.

That misleading, feel-good message leads to all sorts of problems, the short of which goes like this: The evil Plankton (Mr. Lawrence)—owner of the greasy spoon, Chum Bucket—is plotting to steal business from Mr. Krabs’ new restaurant through theft and mind control.

Meanwhile, King Neptune has frozen Mr. Krabs solid because he believes that Krabs stole his crown. It’s up to SpongeBob and Patrick to travel to the dangerous land of Shell City to retrieve the crown and to save the day in ways that won’t be revealed here.

Too predictable and padded for its own good, “The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie” doesn’t feel like the first movie born out of an inspired series. Instead, it feels like the uninspired last installment after a long run of SpongeBob movies. It should have been funnier, it should have been leaner, and yes, it should have been more absorbing.

Grade: C