The Transporter 2: Movie, DVD, Blu-ray disc Review (2005)

9/06/2007 Posted by Admin

Hell on heels

(Originally published 2005)

Early in Luis Leterrier's new action movie, "The Transporter 2," it appears as if we're in for a knockoff of "The Pacifier," in which Vin Diesel reached out to the broadest possible audience by cozying up to kids and changing their diapers while firing off enough ammo to keep his street cred.

The jury's still out on whether that worked for Vin.

In "Transporter 2," the film's five-o'clock-shadowed action star, Jason Statham, looks just as surly as ever as Frank Martin--the man's stubble could scrape the metal off a gun, and likely has. Still, if first impressions mean anything, his personality appears to have softened since 2002's "The Transporter," a frenetic film in which Eurotrash was allowed to go berserk.

In that movie, Frank was a transporter of illegal packages to all sorts of unseemly types slumming throughout the south of France. He was a grim bloke--former military--hired to transport a duffel bag to a crude American named Wall Street. Now, he's schlepping for a U.S. drug czar and his unhappy wife (Matthew Modine, Amber Valletta), who have hired Frank to drive their 6-year-old son, Jack (Hunter Clary), to and from school and to the occasional doctor's appointment.

In the film's opening moments, Frank bonds with Jack in ways that teeter on the verge of being cute, which is especially unthinkable since the last film was about as cute as having a knife at your throat. Still, circumstances lead both to a new brand of heroin chic in Lola (Kate Nauta), a nearly naked she-killer in six-inch stiletto heels, garter belts up to here, a bra down to there, and a lovely tattoo etched along her inner thigh, who is given to removing a good deal of her clothing before letting loose on Frank and Jack with enough fire power to recall, you know, the last movie.

Why the gunfire? And why Lola's interest in kidnapping Jack? Apparently, she wants to deliver him to her lover, Giannini (Alessandro Gassman), an oily assassin with mocha skin who plans to infect the little boy with a virus that will be passed along to his father and thus to several powerful world leaders at an international conference.

All will die. Only Giannini has the antidote.

Obviously, this isn't a movie about logic--it's a movie about action, fast cars and sound editing. The moment leggy Lola starts firing, her raccoon eyes burning holes in the screen and through you, it's clear that "The Transporter 2" came to have a good time, which is a relief. Sequels sometimes can get terribly serious. This one doesn't.

From a script by French director Luc Besson ("The Professional," "The Fifth Element," "La Femme Nikita") and Robert Mark Kamen, the movie is as lively and as fun as it is unapologetically dumb. Those seeking only creatively choreographed gun fights, fist fights, absurd stunts and well-conceived pyrotechnics won't be disappointed, but those hoping for a shred of logic to bolster the thin plot might be left wanting.

Statham is dependable here--he has a swift kick, a gravelly voice, and a tight-fisted gate--though it's still uncertain whether he has a sense of humor, a personality and whether he can act. Probably doesn't matter. What he has is the action hero's necessary bald pate and pumped-up physique. In this genre, that's half the battle.

Grade: B-