Stuck on You: Movie, DVD Review (2003)
Removed from the movie
Directed by Bobby Farrelly and Peter Farrelly, written by Charles B. Wessler, Bennett Yellin, Peter Farrelly and Bobby Farrelly, 118 minutes, rated PG-13.
(Originally published 2003)
The Farrelly Brothers movie, “Stuck on You,” stars Matt Damon and Greg Kinnear as conjoined twins Bob and Walt Tenor—or the two Tenors, as they’re called in the movie, not that anyone should expect the film to hit any high notes.
They also shouldn’t expect it to intentionally hit any low notes, or for it to slide through the Farrellys’ influential brand of crude humor, which peaked in their breakout hit, 1998’s “There’s Something About Mary.”
In that film, Cameron Diaz famously showcased her ghastly spray of organic hair gel, giggled into the camera and watched her own star soar because of it. After years of imitators, the movies haven’t been the same since.
It’s been tough for the Farrellys to top that gag--and they haven’t, not even in “Osmosis Jones,” their 2001 gross-out comedy that toured the human body, roaring through its orifices. When the movie bombed, they softened their edge with “Shallow Hal.” Encouraged by that modest box-office hit, they’ve grown even softer in “Stuck on You”--and have lost their way in the process.
In short, the movie follows Bob and Walt--owners of Quickee Burger on Martha’s Vineyard--to the bright lights of Hollywood, where Walt, an aspiring actor, hopes to hit it big. Bob is stage shy and prone to anxiety attacks onstage, but since he loves his brother fiercely—and is, in fact, attached to him at the waist—he decides to go along with it.
Soon, Walt is in a hit in a television show with Cher, who plays a high-strung version of herself, and the two brothers, who share a liver, start talking about the possibilities of surgically splitting for good.
Five years ago, when the Farrellys took risks, Bob and Walt would have been joined at their unmentionables, nevermind their waists, and we can only imagine that at some point, some part of them would have been caught in a zipper, as was the case with Ben Stiller’s character in “Mary.”
Low comedy, for sure, but not timid comedy, which is worse. Still, that’s just what’s served in “Stuck on You.” The movie is safe and bland, a damp piece of milquetoast that so unreasonably well-meaning, it’s sapped of whatever energy it might have had as the Farrellys try for earnest, warm-hearted entertainment.
Too bad their own hearts aren’t in it. As likable as Kinnear and Damon are in their roles, “Stuck on You” is a strangely laughless affair, suggesting that the Farrellys might indeed be better suited to tickling us through the gastrointestinal tract.
Grade: D+
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