The Hottie & the Nottie: DVD Review (2008)

What fresh hell is this? Why is Paris Hilton back to haunt another movie? Are people hungry for more of her low-wattage acting onscreen? Can’t they just go and smell one of her perfumes, think nice thoughts about her and call it a day?

That’s probably too many questions to ask, but the reason Hilton has existed so long in pop culture at least deserves some answers. I don’t have any. Maybe you do. This movie sure as hell doesn’t.

In “The Hottie & the Nottie,” Hilton is Christabel, the glam “hottie” of the title who long has been lusted after by Nate (Joel David Moore). When they reconnect in Los Angeles, plain Nate tries to score with Christabel again, only to learn that she won’t hear of having a boyfriend until her ugly girlfriend June (Christine Lakin) has one, too.

What ensues doesn’t feel as if it was directed by a living human being, but by the sleeping pill, Ambien. The movie lulls you into a hypnotic state of gross-out horror, with Hilton’s canned acting front and center.

The only reason this movie isn’t being smacked down with an F is because of Lakin, who movies beyond her warts and monobrow to eventually prove she has some appeal.

Rated PG-13. Grade: D-

Behold the greatness that is Paris Hilton here: