Meryl Streep's Latest Vehicle’s R Rating To Save Millions of Teens From Thinking Weed is Cool

12/16/2009 Posted by Admin

By our guest blogger, Marie Biondolillo

Ever eager to save us from ourselves, the MPAA has given the romantic comedy, “It’s Complicated,” an R rating.  The reason?  It features heroine Meryl Streep enjoying a marijuana cigarette with love-interest Steve Martin.

"It's Complicated" is the latest in Nancy Meyer’s wish-fulfillment series for the Pottery Barn set.  It's the story of Jane (Meryl Streep), an impossibly beautiful and successful single mother of three who has to bat the men folk off with a stick, even as she enters late middle age. Her suitors include ex-husband Jake (Alec Baldwin) and remodel architect Adam (Steve Martin.)

Never mind that this movie deserves an R rating based on this set-up alone--seriously, women of all ages fantasize about being chased by Alec Baldwin and Steve Martin, at least in those moments when they aren’t busy fantasizing about looking like Meryl Streep or having architects personally plan and supervise the remodeling of their expensive homes. The lot of this is pure Lady Porn, and as such, it's totally pernicious. Why, it might inspire ordinary women to become super-rich and successful, all in the hopes that comedy legends might stop by their mansions in order to chase them around the kitchen island, pay them witty but heartfelt compliments, and get them ripped out of their minds.

Ladies, this is not a realistic scenario! It’s not fair to judge regular men by these unattainable Hollywood standards. Just because some dude doesn’t have multiple Emmys or a sweet stash doesn’t mean that he’s not a worthwhile person who might make a wonderful life partner someday.

If only the MPAA had given “It’s Complicated” a XXX rating--then, we wouldn’t have to worry about the corruption of our nation’s moms. At least the teens are safe. Everybody knows that today’s teens (and even tweens) look straight to Meryl Streep for the straight dope on what’s edgy, hip and now. Meryl Streep made American Apparel happen. Meryl Streep liked Kings of Leon before y’all liked Kings of Leon. When Meryl Streep isn’t flash mobbing, she’s silk-screening vintage owl graphics while rocking stunnaz. If The Kids were able to see “It’s Complicated,” they’d see Meryl burning tweeds, and they would start asking questions, and eventually they would find out that marijuana exists. And then all of us would be in peril.

What kind of world would it be if teenagers knew about pot? It would be crazy! Teenagers would be running amok, sharing weed in unlikely places (like tree houses and garages!); storming the convenience stores of America, on the look-out for soda pop and toaster oven-friendly comestibles; and sleeping past 9 AM on Saturdays.

Thankfully, the MPAA has saved us from this terrifying dystopia. We are safe for now, at least until Meryl Streep makes the next move in her bid to destroy civilization as we know it.


View the trailer for "It's Complicated" below.  Thoughts?

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