Television News: Top Ten Reasons Betty White Will Be a Better SNL Host Than Kristen Stewart

3/21/2010 Posted by Admin

Television News

Top Ten Reasons Betty White Will Be a Better SNL Host Than Kristen Stewart

By our guest blogger, Marie Biondolillo

As you may have heard, Betty White will be hosting "Saturday Night Live" on May 8th, along with a bunch of other female ladies like Tina Fey and Maya Rudolph. The Internet is very happy about this--as well they should be. But! There are also rumors that Kristen Stewart, famous "Twilight" anorexic, may soon take a turn at hosting as well.

This is a bad idea for several reasons. First of all, Kristen Stewart is boring. Actually, that about covers it. What they should do instead is just let Betty White host twice. Below follow some extremely logical and scientific reasons for this:

1. The chemistry between Betty White and cast members such as Jason Sudeikis is undeniable, whereas everybody knows that Kristen Stewart and Kenan Thompson have had bad blood ever since Kenan beat her out for the role of "Dexter" in "Good Burger."

2. Betty White acts in comedies; Kristen Stewart stars in the most unintentionally comic saga since the "Matrix" trilogy.

3. If Kristen Stewart hosts, she's just going to mumble all her lines. No one will be able to watch the show live--they'll have to wait until it's re-run with closed captions.

4. Hosting SNL can be stressful, so it's important that hosts have good coping mechanisms. When Kristen Stewart gets stressed out, she jumps off cliffs. When Betty White gets stressed out, she goes straight to the leatherette mini-bar, makes a cocktail, and goes out to the lanai to get wasted in the sun with Blanche and Dorothy.

5. Betty White is about a thousand years old, making it likely that she's a real vampire; Kristen Stewart just dates one.

6. Betty White passionately advocates for animals; Kristen Stewart just dates one.

7. "Golden Girls" fanfic beats the crap out of "Twilight" fanfic. This has nothing to do with SNL, but "Twilight" fanfic is a pernicious force that should be slammed at every opportunity.

8. It's easier to write sketches for somebody who has starred on pretty much every TV show ever than to write for somebody who had a baby that a werewolf fell in love with. Betty White has been on TV for 66 years, appearing in everything from "The Mary Tyler Moore Show" to "30 Rock." Therefore, SNL could spoof virtually any TV show, write Betty White in as a "special guest star," and instantly have an sketch that appeals to lots of people because of its pop cultural relevance. "Renesmee" is good for one sketch at best.

9. Kristen Stewart just won't stand up straight and get her hair out of her face and it's driving our nations' moms crazy. Betty White is well-coiffed and has impeccable posture.

10. It has to be said: Betty White has better boobs than Kristen Stewart.



New York Daily News

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  1. lisa said...

    Plus it's just how Betty rocked in that Super Bowl commercial, even when she got her butt kicked on those plays. You go betty! She can take kirsten on the field any day, candy bar or not! HA! GO Betty!!