"Vampires Suck" Movie Review (2010)

"Vampires Suck"

Movie Review

Written and directed by Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer, 80 minutes, Rated PG-13.

By our guest blogger, Joel Crabtree

It’s difficult to go into Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer’s latest movie, “Vampires Suck,” with an open mind. After all, these are the guys who brought us “Disaster Move” and “Epic Movie” ... and “Meet the Spartans” ... and “Date Movie” (I think you get the picture).

“Vampires Suck,” a spoof on the "Twilight" saga, has that Friedberg and Seltzer stigma before the lights even go down, which unfortunately means it has an uphill battle for the other 85 minutes.

If you’re even vaguely familiar with the “Twilight” saga, you probably already know the story for “Vampires Suck” -- not that it really matters. The only difference worth noting are the names: Becca Crane (Jenn Proske), Edward Sullen (Matt Lanter), Jacob White (Chris Riggi).

With “Vampires Suck,” it is almost as though Friedberg and Selzter aren’t even spoofing other movies anymore, but are actually targeting their previous efforts. After too many movies featuring characters getting into outlandish brawls, getting hit by doors, shovels, champagne bottles, baseball bats with spikes, etc., you become immune to the style of humor -- if you could even call it that. The material got old after the first “Scary Movie.”

But for all of the so-called slapstick humor, fart jokes and somewhat lame references to vampire pop culture (a 40 oz. of True Blood is one of the few worth mentioning), the filmmakers do make some surprisingly good choices in “Vampires Suck.” Their casting of the mock “Twilight” characters is dead-on, especially with Jenn Proske as Becca, the “Vampires Suck” version of Bella.

Proske, a complete unknown before the spoof, has Kristen Stewart’s Bella mannerisms down to the point where it’s scary. At times, it’s easy to mistake her for the real McCoy. Strangely enough, every one of the actors seems to fully understand the spirit of the original characters.

And to give the devils their due, Friedberg and Seltzer also have a strong grasp on the “Twilight” movies and the craze that comes along with them. Even if it doesn’t always come through in the film, they get it. “Vampires Suck” takes a few successful shots at the saga, but it didn’t quite bring me to a full-on laugh.

However, “Twilight” isn’t the only target for “Vampires Suck.” The film also takes aim at Tiger Woods, Lady Gaga and Chris Brown, among others. But seriously, guys, you spend 80 minutes mocking pop culture and not a single Justin Bieber reference? What a gaping hole!

What Friedberg and Seltzer need to know is that in order to create a successful spoof, you have to understand the genre’s more mature older brother, satire. Without satire, you just have a lot of cheap jokes at the expense of a successful franchise or genre. There’s probably a much funnier movie underneath the failed humor in “Vampires Suck.” It’s too bad we didn’t get the chance to see it.

Grade: C-

Below is the trailer for "Vampires Suck," what are your thoughts on it?