"The Human Centipede" DVD, Blu-ray Review

"The Human Centipede" 

 DVD, Blu-ray Review

Directed by Tom Six, Written by Six, 92 Minutes, Not Rated

By our guest blogger, Rob Stammitti

You should be able to tell right when you read the title whether "The Human Centipede" is right for you. There really is no more apt a title. If body horror, torture, and the idea of people being sewn together into one massive body sounds appealing to you, you may enjoy this film.

Dieter Laser is Dr. Heiter, a top-notch surgeon straight out of stereotypical mad scientist school who'd be right at home in "Hostel." He's a master of his craft, best known for his ability to separate conjoined twins. Retired and isolated in his quiet German abode, Heiter decides he'd like to use his skills to put people together instead of take them apart. His plan is to make what he calls a human centipede, attaching multiple people by sewing their mouths to the other's...uh...rear area.

After a reasonably successful test run on his three dogs, Heiter begins his quest. He gets a bit lucky when two American tourists, Lindsay and Jenny, break down outside of his house and ask him for help. Next thing they know, they wake up in his cellar and, along with another prisoner, Japanese tourist Katsuro, they will make up the first sequence of Heiter's centipede.

If it wasn't already obvious, this movie is insane. Not even sort of insane. It's like director Tom Six escaped from a looney bin and somehow got the funding to make this film.

Six prides himself on being "100% medically accurate." I don't have enough surgical or anatomical knowledge to confirm whether this is true, but Six plays it straight enough that one could totally buy into the possibility of a surgical venture like this completely working. What's really questionable is why Six was interested in being "100% medically accurate" if he intended to make the film so unbelievably ridiculous.

Heiter is a villain straight out of any old exploitation flick where Nazi scientists rant and rave and make oddball creations to benefit the Third Reich. Laser's performance is uproariously funny, but that's not to say he's not also utterly terrifying. Six does a pretty decent job of making the entire situation horrific and emotionally believable while still maintaining a level of camp throughout.

The fun doesn't really last long, though. Once the centipede is finished and the chances of escape are hopeless, there's a lot of just sitting around and watching the trio crawl around and cry a lot. It's not thrilling in the least and ultimately it just ends up being a lot of gross-out horror mixed with spurts of laughter here and there (like Heiter referring to Katsuro as "Mr. Kamikaze" and the moment where we get the inevitable explanation of how this monstrosity digests food).

I think Six just doesn't quite embrace the insanity enough to keep things going for a full runtime. Everything of worth is right there in the trailer for the film, and it would've made a far better short film.

Overall, it's repulsive, absurd, but occasionally entertaining, and it's worth a watch just for the spectacle alone. It's definitely tailor-made for a very small cult audience, though, which it will undoubtedly find very soon.

Grade: C-

View the trailer for "The Human Centipede" below. What are your thoughts?