By our guest blogger, Joel Crabtree
As it does annually, Forbes recently released its list of the 15 richest fictional characters, and topping the list was Scrooge McDuck, “Twilight's” Carlisle Cullen and Artmeis Fowle II. But seriously, who can relate to those rich bastards? Oh, only about 10 percent of the population.
The rest of us – that 90 percent – are more interested in the goings on of Launchpad McQuack (a strong, hardworking Irish duck), “Twilight's” Billy Black or maybe even Waldo, of “Where's Waldo” fame (unlike Mr. Fowle, he can only afford one outfit). These individuals certainly aren't the wealthiest guys on the block, and neither are we.
Without any further ado, here's a list of five of the financially poorest fictional characters:
5. Mel Gibson's Martin Riggs from “Lethal Weapon”: A gainfully employed, edgy cop who chooses to live the life of an alcoholic bum (the death of his wife really left him broken). Yeah, he could move on and stop wasting his life on the bottle, move out of his beach-side trailer and get a real home. But let's leave that for the underwhelming sequels.
4. Bradley Cooper's Eddie Morra in the first part of “Limitless”: Eddie Morra begins “Limitless” as a penniless writer struggling to make do financially. The key sign, though, that Morra belongs on this list is that he has long, disheveled hair, and not in a GQ way. He's a vagabond roaming the streets trying to write his novel. Thankfully, Morra takes a pill to access the rest of his brain, enabling him to make better life decisions. Somehow it wasn't enough to make him realize a “Hangover” sequel just might be a bad idea.
3. Ron Weasley from the Harry Potter series: Harry's the reluctant hero, Hermione's the smart one, and Ron's the poor one. The redheaded friend in the Harry Potter franchise is really a victim of circumstance. There are simply too many Weasleys and not enough money to go around, thus he receives hand-me-downs and a pet rat while his friends have invisibility cloaks, owls and cats. Where's the justice?
2. Danny Trejo's Machete in “Machete”: Danny Trejo portrays a former Mexican Federale who now works as an on-again, off-again laborer. What a financial fall from grace. As he says in the movie: “Machete don't text.” That's probably because his cell plan doesn't support texting anymore. Fortunately for Machete, he has a higher calling in life that doesn't necessarily involve tons of cash, only his weapon of choice. Bruce Wayne he is not, but he has helped redefine the word badass.
1. Rutger Hauer's Hobo in “Hobo with a Shotgun”: How can Rutger Hauer's homeless vigilante not be No. 1? The rare antihero (other than maybe “Watchmen's” Rorschach) to be homeless. What a bold move, even if it is a movie paying homage to exploitation movies. It's hard to say whether or not anyone will top this flat-out broke fictional character. After all, audiences would much rather watch filthy rich characters in their escapist journey to the cinema than facing the reality – or surreality – of poverty. Right?
Let's ask the Kardashians.
Those are just a few of the brokest fictional characters. Who are some of your favorite poorest fictional characters?