The Hills Have Eyes: Movie & DVD Review (2006)

(Originally published 2006)

The new Alexandre Aja movie, "The Hills Have Eyes," is a remake of Wes Craven's 1977 classic, which caused something of a stink when it was released nearly 30 years ago. Too graphic, some said, too much blood. And few liked the idea of anyone feasting on a baby. Go figure.

Thing is, when compared to this Craven-produced jewel from Aja ("High Tension"), which incredibly received only an R rating from the MPAA when an NC-17 rating is absolutely what it deserved, Craven's version now looks like playtime for tots.

As written by Aja and Gregory Levasseur, "The Hills Have Eyes" is one ugly, violent piece of moviemaking that struggles to sustain energy in spite of all the blood it sheds, all the body parts it lobs off, all the savagery it unleashes. Its only narrative drive comes from the fact that its nasty streak of violence tends to drive people out of theaters, which was the case at my screening, with several members of its target audience unhappily filing out midway through.

It was tough to blame them.

The film begins with archival footage of nuclear testing interlaced with actual shots of disfigured children, some of whom appear to be deceased. The children and their deformities are shown in closeup before they dissolve into mushroom clouds. This is entertainment? Aja thinks so, but then his movie really gets down to business.

It cuts to the New Mexico desert, where the people who were affected by the nuclear fallout as children now are angry adult mutants who thrill at the idea of slamming pickaxes into the backs, faces, torsos and limbs of their unsuspecting victims. They do this, we learn, because they're furious to have been left behind and forgotten by the rest of the country after the nuclear testing. Fair enough. But why present their case in a movie that refuses to allow them a trace of sympathy? A more effective, timely remake would have allowed us to root for them as they fought big government. But forget logic.

Since Aja resists the idea that what is left offscreen and to our imagination often is more terrifying, he shows us everything. As such, his film trips on its own entrails--sometimes quite literally.

The movie follows the Carter family, who have left Cleveland for a vacation that finds them detouring through this desert. After the aforementioned carnage that opens the show, what ensues is 45 minutes of long-winded tedium before the movie launches into an hour of unrelenting murder, cannibalism, rape, the grotesque torture of a pregnant woman, the rough handling of her infant child, a burning crucifixion and other atrocities as the Carter family (Ted Levine, Kathleen Quinlan, Dan Byrd, Emile de Ravin, Vinessa Shaw, Aaron Stanford) is slowly carved down to only a few.

Where is the fun in a movie like this? There are no jolts, no flashes of humor, no camp aspect, no winking at the audience--just bloodletting that crosses the line. Those who want this sort of thing can have it.

Grade: D