The Pacifier: Movie & DVD Review (2005)

(Originally published 2005)

Vin Diesel stars as a Navy SEAL whose lock-and-load lifestyle is sidelined by loaded diapers. His pecs are his unbilled co-stars and they never let him down.

The story is hooey, with Diesel's Shane Wolfe ordered to baby-sit five brats while their mother (Faith Ford) flies off to Europe to unlock the reason her husband was murdered under Wolfe's watch.

Meanwhile, Shane is at home playing Kindergarten Cop, fighting her children, their pet duck and ninja assassins while trying to keep everyone fed.

It's every bit as ghastly as it sounds, with poor Vin Diesel revealing himself as a hard-bodied softy. Kids will enjoy its scat jokes. Everyone else will enjoy a good nap.

Grade: D+