"Neowolf" Movie Trailer Review

Movie Trailer Review

"Neowolf"

By our guest blogger, Jeremy Wilkinson

What do you get when you mix a rock band, werewolves, a low budget, and talentless actors? "Neowolf"! This Alan Smithee helmed film looks like the bastard child of "Lost Boys" and "New Moon," with all the appeal of a root canal.

As soon as the narrator’s voice is first heard, you can tell "Neowolf" is going to be a bad movie. Two lovers meet up again after some undetermined amount of time, and apparently rekindle their relationship. The narrator describes them as “two lost souls” who will be touched by the “power of love” and “the forces of evil.” Any notion of even mediocrity is blown out of the water with that transition. The trailer fails to show proper juxtaposition of ‘love’ and ‘evil.’ The onscreen text that pronounces this touch of evil is accompanied by the most generic, uninspired metal music the crew could find. Worse yet, the narrator’s tone doesn’t even change, as if he is completely aware what trash he is doing a voice over for, and has decided to put only minimal effort into his job.

There’s also a band and it appears that they are werewolves, which is a bit of a stretch to say. In the trailer, the only glimpses we are shown make them look like shaggy men, not wolf/human hybrids. Apparently, the main male character really enjoys the band, and is bitten by a werewolf after spending time with them. His girlfriend confronts him afterwards, where he announces his plans to leave. In an effort to make her understand, he states: “If I stay here, I’ll hurt you.” The actor delivers the line with such little emotion, he comes off as someone whose only acting experience was a middle school play. This melodrama is followed by unsuccessful attempts at causing tension, and the trailer ends with a title card whose font looks eerily similar to "New Moon’s."

"Neowolf" is just another in a long line of bad horror movies, destined to be sold off in dingy bargain bins alongside "Dark Harvest" and "The Butcher." Unless you want to get friends together to mock terrible movies, avoid this film.

View the trailer for "Neowolf" below. What are your thoughts?