Intolerable Cruelty: Movie Review, DVD Review (2003)

(Originally published 2003)

Directed by Joel Coen, written by Robert Ramsey, Matthew Stone, Ethan Coen and Joel Coen, 100 minutes, rated PG-13.

Somewhere in the world, probably where they harvest supermodels, there is a better looking, more talented and charismatic couple than George Clooney and Catherine Zeta-Jones. I’m sure they’re very pleased knowing that, and I know we all wish them well.

Still, until they show up in their own movie, audiences have the opportunity to feast their eyes on the near physical perfection of Clooney and Zeta-Jones in “Intolerable Cruelty,” Joel and Ethan Coen’s screwy new romantic farce reworked from an eight-year-old script by Robert Ramsey and Matthew Stone.

As directed by Joel Coen (“Fargo,” “O Brother, Where Art Thou?”), the film stars Clooney as Miles Massey, an unscrupulous Los Angeles divorce attorney known for his impenetrable prenuptial agreement—fittingly called the Massey Pre-Nup---and for his teeth, which have been bleached so many times, they have more bling than a rap star's wrist.

Zeta-Jones is Marylin Rexroth, a gorgeous minx who has earned a living by marrying wealthy men and then, when the time comes to divorce them for half their net worth, dropping them like yesterday's maxed-out credit cards. Marylin wants financial independence, and she’ll do anything and anyone to get it.

Though Miles is aware of her motives, he nevertheless becomes obsessed by Marylin and her beauty, so much so that he wants her for himself, in spite of the potential repercussions to his own health and wealth.

Obviously, there’s danger in such impulse, with Miles never really knowing whether he can trust Marylin or whether the affection she eventually comes to show for him is real. It’s just that air of mistrust that sours the last act of the movie.

It’s strange. Clooney and Zeta-Jones were obviously hired to be treated as objects of desire here, but by not allowing them to follow through with the formidable spark they create onscreen and to truly smolder, as we know they could, one has to wonder what’s the point of the movie? Intolerable audience cruelty?

Apparently so.

The film has a lot going for it—a gem of a premise, funny supporting turns from Paul Adelstein, Billy Bob Thornton, Edward Herrmann, Geoffrey Rush and Cedric the Entertainer, and one of the most surprising, outrageous laughs tucked in a movie this year—but it ultimately comes up short and feels thin.

Clooney is game and gives the film manic energy while further blurring the line between himself and Cary Grant, but Zeta-Jones is underused.

In “Chicago,” for which she won the Academy Award, she commanded the screen, proving a master of style and comic timing. Here, she’s little more than an undulating clothes hanger, a smoky-eyed set piece draped in haute couture who has all the likeability of a shark. The Coens don’t seem to know what to do with her, which may hint at their own intimidation, and their movie, in the end, becomes as chilly and as saccharine as the characters themselves.

Grade: B-

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