Mr. Woodcock: Movie Review (2007)

(Originally published 2007)

Directed by Craig Gillespie, written by Michael Carnes and Josh Gilbert, 90 minutes, rated PG-13.

The new Craig Gillespie movie, "Mr. Woodcock," is a tense comedy about a verbally and physically abusive physical education teacher.

It’s for those who remember the days when the bad guy at school wasn’t just the bully in the next seat, but an ex-jock whose life peaked when they were 17 and who now possesses the authority that comes with age, position and a whistle. For some, all those good memories and more will come spilling back while watching "Woodcock," a movie that stars Billy Bob Thornton in the title role.

And what a title! Nothing subliminal there.

Now about that role. Embracing his inner "Bad Santa" and running riffs on roles he's been playing for years--"The Bad News Bears," "School for Scoundrels," "The Ice Harvest"--is Thornton, who obviously takes perverse delight in being one mean, uncompromising SOB onscreen, particularly if children are on the receiving end of his wrath.

That the actor is willing to go for it in “Woodcock” is good because what nobody wants in a movie about a cruel gym teacher who picks on his students and barks out orders like a drill sergeant on crystal meth is any trace of humanity. We want the real thing--a monster with no redeeming values. Thornton has the basketballs to give us just that, and God bless him for it.

Too bad about the movie, though, which has been delayed by New Line Cinema for so long, Gillespie's new movie, "Lars and the Real Girl," is set to be released in a matter of weeks. Based on Michael Carnes and Josh Gilbert's script, the film focuses much of its attention on Seann William Scott's John Farley, a best-selling author whose self-help book, "Letting Go," is all about living in the now and leaving behind all of the negative crap that might have befallen one in the past.

You know, like being pummeled in front of your peers by Mr. Woodcock.

While John's book suggests popular ways of letting go, what becomes increasingly clear is that John himself can't do the same. The moment he learns that his widowed mother, Beverly (Susan Sarandon), is dating his old arch nemesis Woodcock, whose virility is a thing of legend, let’s just say that the past becomes present, though in ways that don't make for a particularly funny movie.

As John's agent, Amy Poehler scores a few showy laughs--she has a penchant for the business end of a bottle that tends to lead to some drunken loose lips. A few scenes of John as a young boy (Kyle Baldridge) can be amusing, particularly if, like Woodcock, you don't especially like children. But otherwise, the jokes in "Mr. Woodcock" are flacid in ways that curiously contradict the title.

Grade: C-

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