Stealing Harvard: Movie Review, DVD Review (2002)
9/21/2007 Posted by Admin
Now turn those guns on yourselves (Originally published 2002)
Directed by Bruce McCulloch. Written by Peter Tolan, from a story by Martin Hynes and Tolan, 83 minutes, PG-13.
The best thing that can be said for Bruce McCulloch's "Stealing Harvard," the new comedy co-starring Tom Green, is that it runs a mere 83 minutes, including the opening and closing credits, which means that the movie itself lasts only 77 minutes, a full 20 minutes shorter than Green's last film, the woefully rotten "Freddy Got Fingered."
This is progress worth reporting.
Indeed, at this rate, if Green's career in movies somehow continues in spite of all signs suggesting otherwise, it isn’t unreasonable to expect that his next appearance on the big screen might be as brief as, say, 57 minutes, and then 37 minutes, and so on, until he's little more than a forgotten mole on the butt of pop culture.
Either way, "Stealing Harvard," from a one-joke premise by Peter Tolan, is about as fun as the current working climate at Tyco. And with a magna cum low $6 million opening, it hammers yet another nail in Green’s coffin.
The film’s plot, such as it is, follows John Plummer (Jason Lee), a bland, spineless salesman who has at long last saved the $30,000 required to marry his fiancé Elaine (Leslie Mann), a shrewd gift basket designer now willing to wed John since he can finally buy her the home she wants.
Oddly enough, John's niece, Noreen (Tammy Blanchard), needs the same amount of cash to attend Harvard, a responsibility John assumed when Noreen was a child and he promised to pay for her education after she failed to correctly spell “tarp” at a spelling bee.
Since John is too co-dependent to disappoint Noreen and her trashy mother, Patty (Megan Mullally), with the news that he can’t afford Noreen’s education, he turns in desperation to Duff (Green), a moron with a mullet who suggests they steal the money and hope for the best. As you can imagine, this invites all sorts of problems, not the least of which finds John dressing in drag at gunpoint and “spooning” with a wealthy widower who misses his wife.
Remarkably, this is one of the film’s better gags. And just as on “Will & Grace,” the film gets an undeniable lift whenever Mullally’s dysfunctional saucepot is allowed to undulate on screen. But since “Stealing Harvard” is really little more than a showpiece for bestiality, a whiff of incest, the occasional colon joke and the idea that Tom Green is funny, it all fails just as spectacularly as most of us knew it would.
Grade: D
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Directed by Bruce McCulloch. Written by Peter Tolan, from a story by Martin Hynes and Tolan, 83 minutes, PG-13.
The best thing that can be said for Bruce McCulloch's "Stealing Harvard," the new comedy co-starring Tom Green, is that it runs a mere 83 minutes, including the opening and closing credits, which means that the movie itself lasts only 77 minutes, a full 20 minutes shorter than Green's last film, the woefully rotten "Freddy Got Fingered."
This is progress worth reporting.
Indeed, at this rate, if Green's career in movies somehow continues in spite of all signs suggesting otherwise, it isn’t unreasonable to expect that his next appearance on the big screen might be as brief as, say, 57 minutes, and then 37 minutes, and so on, until he's little more than a forgotten mole on the butt of pop culture.
Either way, "Stealing Harvard," from a one-joke premise by Peter Tolan, is about as fun as the current working climate at Tyco. And with a magna cum low $6 million opening, it hammers yet another nail in Green’s coffin.
The film’s plot, such as it is, follows John Plummer (Jason Lee), a bland, spineless salesman who has at long last saved the $30,000 required to marry his fiancé Elaine (Leslie Mann), a shrewd gift basket designer now willing to wed John since he can finally buy her the home she wants.
Oddly enough, John's niece, Noreen (Tammy Blanchard), needs the same amount of cash to attend Harvard, a responsibility John assumed when Noreen was a child and he promised to pay for her education after she failed to correctly spell “tarp” at a spelling bee.
Since John is too co-dependent to disappoint Noreen and her trashy mother, Patty (Megan Mullally), with the news that he can’t afford Noreen’s education, he turns in desperation to Duff (Green), a moron with a mullet who suggests they steal the money and hope for the best. As you can imagine, this invites all sorts of problems, not the least of which finds John dressing in drag at gunpoint and “spooning” with a wealthy widower who misses his wife.
Remarkably, this is one of the film’s better gags. And just as on “Will & Grace,” the film gets an undeniable lift whenever Mullally’s dysfunctional saucepot is allowed to undulate on screen. But since “Stealing Harvard” is really little more than a showpiece for bestiality, a whiff of incest, the occasional colon joke and the idea that Tom Green is funny, it all fails just as spectacularly as most of us knew it would.
Grade: D
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