Witless Protection: DVD Review (2008)

A triumph for the Confederate flag-waving hillbilly--a disaster for everyone else. 

Larry the Cable Guy’s latest effort finds our resident buffoon as a deputy sheriff who is so certain that saucy Madeleine (Ivana Milicevic) is being kidnapped by black men that he kidnaps her himself.

Unfortunately for Larry, these men are FBI agents, which leads to all sorts of complications, not to mention an unbridled run of scat jokes and the bashing of Muslims, Asians and, as Larry himself puts it, “jungle pygmies.”

In the end, there’s racist Larry himself, chewing on straw with twinkling eyes that look into a hollow soul. Here is a fellow so dim, he probably believes that the faces of Mt. Rushmore were created solely by the effects of wind and rain.

Rated PG-13. Grade: D-