Universal Soldier: The Return: Blu-ray Review (2009)

The innocence of incompetence is on full display in the new Blu-ray version of Mic Rodgers’ 1999 potboiler “Universal Soldier: The Return.”

It’s a film that features the action star Jean-Claude Van Damme and his magical, self-laundering shirt, a tight-fitting, olive-green creation that has the remarkable ability of appearing badly soiled in one scene--and surprisingly spotless in the next.

The film is filled with just this sort of inconsistency, which is no great wonder since it is the directorial debut of Rodgers, a former stuntman who likely landed on his head after being shot out of one too many cannons.

It’s easy to make fun of films such as "Return"--clearly, I'm not above it. But it is a fault of the genre that the glory and splendor of the special effects seem to forever supersede characters, situations and dialogue. Action films of this sort are for audiences not interested in people. They want pyrotechnics, gun fights, the occasionally blown off head. If done well, such as in the “Terminator” movies, the ride can be a blast.

But when done badly, such as in “Return,” the entire production is reduced to a pop-culture emptiness that asks its characters (and its audiences) to respond to this kind of dialogue: “I don’t care if he’s dead! Next time he grabs me, I’ll kill him!” Or, worse, “Visible light we can see!”

Couple those little pearls with the film's murky plot and what’s clear is this--the movie isn't worth discussing any further.

Grade: F

Features:

Jean-Claude Van Damme Looking Back, Moving Forward Featurette
Michael Jai White: A Universal Soldier's Workout
Making Of Featurette
Blu-ray Live Enabled